Krispy Kreme doughnuts .. mmmmm.

But now the purveyors of these tasty treats are in deep, deep trouble. They've fired up the PR people:

“Krispy Kreme apologises unreservedly ..  an internal investigation is currently underway.”

Wow. What have they done? Did someone sneeze into the mix? Is there horsemeat in the pink icing? Has an errant chef made love to a batch? Nah...

What they've done is far, far worse. Oh yes. They have "offended" some people. They referred to the Krispy Kreme Klub by its initials. Which are also - oh no - the initials of a racist organisation in America.

And someone, somewhere - in fact several people - have decided that the use of the letter 'K' is this way is "..inappropriate". Their feelings are hurt. They are - as fucking usual - "offended".

Dear god, fuckwits, get a fucking grip...

.

"I've got a great idea.." someone at Airport Operations must have said ".. instead of accurately displaying whether a flight is delayed, about to board, boarding, closed and so on, let's just have a computer work out when that should happen, and display that."

"So, like, 40 minutes before a flight is scheduled to take off, let's display that it's boarding"

"But will it be?"

"Dunno; probably not, but let's do that anyway. And then, say, 30 minutes before the spreadsheet shows take off, let's show 'Final Call'

"But won't that panic people into dashing through the airport to a 'plane that's not even boarding?"

"Yeah, probably'

"And won't this whole idea just make the lives of a couple of ground staff fractionally easier, for no other benefit?"

"Well, yes"

"And won't this lead to herds of passengers sweating their way through a crowded airport, panicking that their flight is going to go without them, when in fact it hasn't even started boarding yet?" 

"It might"

"And won't this lead to endless people mistakenly jumping to the front of the queue, causing chaos, in the mistaken belief that their flight is already boarded, when in fact they've just barged past 200 people who've been stood there fuming for 25 minutes?"

"Yes, it will"

"In fact, won't this whole idea just mightily piss off pretty much every passenger in the airport?"

"Yeah  ...  Fuck 'em"

.

CF has been growing slowly more and more enraged, as the days tick down toward the Genraleckshun, and the politicians grow e'er more desperate. Not desperate to put over their great ideas, oh no. Desperate to blame everyone else for everything since the Great Fire of London.

And don't the press just fucking love it? Running between the quarrelling factions like an overexcited, dimwitted Spaniel, yapping and pissing in equal measure. And this week, the juicy bone is tax avoidance. Not evasion, because that's already illegal. No: avoidance, which is not illegal, but which a lot of people would like you to believe is.

So, today's tendentious drivel comes to you courtesy of the Sunday Times. No link provided, because CF is fucked if he's going to pay money to observe the drivellings of the Murdoch Press - or indeed any press. Suffice to say, this is legit, as it was all over Twitter: so it must be true, eh?

This week's question was ...

"Is it acceptable to legally avoid tax?"

To which 57% of the public apparently answered 'No'.

'No'? What?

Dear God, public, what? Did you understand the fucking question? Did you read all of the words? If so, what the living fuck are you on, for Christ's sake?

Can you not see that the only possible answer to this question is 'Fuck off, you idiot from the Sunday Times, this is a pointless and unanswerable question. Stop wasting my time and yours'  ?

CF fucking despairs. Time to restart the blog, and right a few of the ever-so-ever-so many wrongs currently crowding the horizon ...