Ah, Design! Technology! Solving all our problems.

Apparently, the Home Office’s 'Design and Technology Alliance Against Crime' (what?) and the Design Council have established a project called Design Out Crime. According to their excitable website, it is

"..showing how designers can get to the root of a crime problem and stop it happening"

Oh really?

And there was us, thinking that we needed more police, and a few more feral fucking hoodies behind bars. And it turns out, its all just design. Design, baby!

So what have these doubtless bespectacled, probably goateed, designers done for us then? Instant Spider-senses? Affordable Bat-mobiles? Nope.

No, what they've done is .. wait for it .. invented a new beer glass.

Yes, really.

But a beer glass with a difference. A beer glass that's a little bit like a car windscreen, in that it doesn't shatter into a million tiny pieces when broken.

So, when the traditional Saturday evening fight kicks off, there'll still be a shitload of people in casualty with broken noses, missing teeth and cracked ribs from the kickings they've received. There'll still be the odd person with stab wounds.There might even be someone with a bullet in 'em.

But what there won't be is that bloke covered in cuts because he's had a glass mashed into his face. No, instead, he'll have a broken nose, and a large round bruise.

Well hoorah! At one stroke, we've addressed binge drinking, disaffected youth and the inadequate policing of violence hotspots. Haven't we? No, we fucking haven't.

We've turned one of the many weapons at hand in a pub brawl into a slightly different - but equally useful - kind of weapon.

And of course, who do you think is going to pay for all this cutting-edge beverage-holding excitement? Well, let's see.

It could be the Home Office. In other words, us.

It could be the owners of pub chains and the vendors of booze, who will promptly increase prices to cover the costs. So again, us.

Or it could be the poor ol' landlords who serve the booze who - if they don't go bust as a result of having to replace every glass in the fucking place - will also pass on the cost in increased prices. So, once more, us.

Grand.

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The BBC runs one of the biggest, sprawlingest websites out there on the interwebs. There's something for everyone. Including a section with African-centric news 'n' debate, presumably for .. err ... African readers.

Now, over there in Africa, the Ugandan Parliament are currently debating homosexuality and the laws that pertain to it. And pretty fucking grim and scary the debate is too. There is talk of the death sentence for certain homosexual 'offences'. Bloody hell.

Clearly, this needs reporting to the wider world, and the BBC has done so. In addition, the BBC 'Africa Have Your Say' section has invited its readers to debate the subject online. Under the somewhat evocative headline "Should homosexuals face execution?‘ it says:

"Yes, we accept it is a stark and disturbing question. But this is the reality behind an Anti-Homosexuality Bill being debated on Friday by the Ugandan parliament which would see some homosexual offences punishable by death.

"Has Uganda gone too far? Should there be any level of legislation against homosexuality? Should homosexuals be protected by legislation as they are in South Africa? What would be the consequences of this bill to you? How will homosexual ‘offences’ be monitored? Send us your views."

Now that's gonna be a lively debate, eh? Somewhat one-sided, perhaps, in that only a handful of nutters will be for the 'ayes', but a highly relevant one, and one well worth having.

You might think so. But the London-based, not-at-all-African, left wing, hand-wringing, 'I find that offensive' brigade would beg to differ.

They don't think there should be any discussion on this. They're appalled the BBC should even attempt to start the debate.

Both Soho Politico and - of course - Liberal Conspiracy are up in arms. Spitting feathers. Fuming.

All the tired old cliché words - 'grotesque', 'objectionable', 'unbelievable' - are trotted out.

Of course being of the left, the relentlessly Authoritarian Left, they cannot resist dictating to the rest of us how we feel - how we must feel - about this.

Soho Politico has even written the protest letter that we must all send to the BBC. And what phrases are therein!

"That the BBC would invite readers to deliberate the merits of murdering gay people is not merely offensive: it is also profoundly irresponsible.."

"..the policy proposal at issue here – the state sponsored killing of gays.."

"..BBC unmistakeably implies that the belief that gays should be killed is a reasonable one for people to hold.."

".. the debate can only encourage people to believe that homophobic violence is justified."

To which the only possible response can be, what a load of fucking hysterical, histrionic bollocks that is.

What an absolute massive, unbelievably tendentious misrepresentation of the situation.

To read the outpourings of these gasping, panting, swooning offence-monkeys, you'd think that the BBC had announced that they were planning to hold a gay-hunting safari, rifles provided. For fuck's sake.

They offered a debate. To Africans, some of whom may well be affected, not to Islington.

Now, before you start, clearly any laws that 'punish' homosexualty would be repugnant in the extreme.

But is the best way to spread the news, and to prevent such laws being passed, to shriek hysterically about the BBC's coverage of them?

Perhaps not, eh?


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