Constantly Furious

Now is the time of year when those lucky enough to be able to afford it slip off to the slopes.

Yes, a few days up in the mountains, skiing, snowboarding and sledging can be a great antidote to the general shitiness of life in modern Britain.

An escape from the nannying and hectoring of the Righteous, and the chance to eat, drink and even smoke without receiving a lecture from Nanny about... but no, wait ...

It's no good, we are going to get a lecture after all.

According to some fucking infuriating survey we are drinking too much on our skiing holidays. Why ..

"As many as 45 per cent planned to drink every night during a winter sports' trip"

Well, duh. Of course we will. We're on fucking holiday, with family or friends, and we're likely to be eating in restaurants or in the hotel.

Why the fuck would we not have a fucking glass or two? Or a Jagartee on a cold morning? Or a Bombardino after a lunch up the mountain?

In fact, thinking about it, 45% seems suspiciously bloody low.

But not to those who would caution us, dictate to us and control us. Oh no.

A spokesman for insurance pimps MoreThan, who carried out the survey, bleated:

''The findings of the research are extremely concerning. Brits abroad have a reputation for drinking to excess but throw a high-speed downhill sport into the mix and you have a very nasty combination.

''Drink-driving is severely frowned upon and drink-skiing should be too. It can be just as dangerous.''

So, should we all ignore the offers of local wines, ice cold beers and exotic schnapps and just get a nice early night, stone cold sober?

Oh, do fuck off.

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