Yes, our esteemed MPs will today vote on whether we should vote on how we are going to vote.

You might have thought that, in the teeth of a disastrous recession, in the midst of broken Britain and in the depths of an unwinnable war - a war that has now killed more soldiers than we lost in the Falklands - there might be better things for MP's to spend their time on.

But of course, if you thought that, you'd be forgetting the utter, naked desperation of Gordon Brown and his team to cling on to power.

Not to 'do the right thing' or to 'help hardworking families'. No. Just to remain in Government, like a fat Pekinese on its favourite velvet cushion. To keep sucking on the teat of privilege and power, and to continue driving and directing this unfortunate country on its long, spiraling journey down the shitter.

Parliament's reputation is at an all-time low. Greedy, self-interested MP's have been caught with their grubby trotters in the till. Some of them are still protesting that they've done no wrong, even some of the those who have felt not the Hand of Destiny but the Hand of PC Plod on their shoulders.

So, yes, reform. Yes, change. But not this, for Christ's sake. Not this total waste of time and energy. Not this feeble piece of politicking

This is just another blatant attempt by Broon to create more of his beloved, artificial 'dividing lines'. The fuckwit simply cannot make himself or his party look good, so just has to settle with trying to make his opposition look bad.

He's on his metaphorical hands and knees, scraping up all the tiny, tiny pieces of shit he can find, in a desperate attempt to make a large enough turd to hurl at his sworn enemy, Cameron.

And this is all going nowhere. There's no time left for this woeful Government. Even Labour backbenchers know this nonsense is not going to make it into law. It's not even going to be properly debated. A distraction. A ruse. A pathetic and needless gesture. Regardless of your views on Constitutional Reform, now really is not the time for this pointless showboating.

Anyway, if you're so fucking keen on a Referendum, Gordon, where the fuck is the one you promised us on Europe? Remember? In that litany of cynical lies and broken promises you called a Manifesto. Where's that Referendum?

There has long been a criminal offence out there in the 'real world', the offence of 'Wasting police time'.

There should be a similar offence, punishable by sacking and refused further employment as an MP, of Wasting Parliament's Time. Wasting our overpaid MP's time. Wasting everyone's time.

The arrests could begin today.

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Day by day, the Nanny State creeps further and further our lives. Prying, poking and interfering.

CF no longer believes that his home is his castle - far too many new rules and regulations to allow that - but he used to believe that at least his body was his own, to do with as he pleased.

But no. As with everything else, we are not to be trusted. We need to be advised, directed, controlled.

Today we learn that even our internal organs are no longer 'our' internal organs. That's right: the news is, the Government is appointing a 'Liver Tsar'.

What the fuck? A 'Liver Tsar'?

Yup. Apparently we must be told how to look after our livers. Left to our own devices, we drink too much, eat fatty food and doubtless do other terribly naughty things to our poor innards.

This must stop.


Professor Roger Williams says urgent action is needed. He told Sky News:

"It's the three As: advertising, affordability and access"

Oh for fuck's sake. The'three As'? You can just see the Powerpoint presentation, can't you? Hear the whirr of the overhead projector. Smell the cold, nasty coffee. See the greasy-haired, bespectacled heads nodding in unison at this wisdom.

Sensing imminent funding, the Prof' goes on:

"The more people drink the more people around them drink and so it goes on and you have to tackle those three areas if you are going to reduce alcohol consumption in this country."

And by 'tackle', you patronising bastard, you mean control. Tame. Legislate against. All for our benefit, supposedly.

As always, the Righteous have lined up a convert to their cause, a former victim who was 'saved', and now is desperate to evangelise.

Jeanette Shiret hit the bottle after losing her job. She drank a litre-and-a-half of vodka a day. Even though she is now teetotal, her liver is so badly damaged that she would die if turned to booze again.

"The pressures, the everyday stress and strain of life, you end up drinking as a way to hide from your problems"

Well, sorry to hear that, Jeanette. But that was your choice, love.

And do you really think - does anyone really think - that if the Prof' had his way, and booze was taxed to oblivion, and vodka was twice the price, you'd have picked yourself up, dusted yourself down and found another job?

Nah: you'd still have a fucked-up liver, but you'd be a lot poorer too, to compound your misery.

As you say, Jeanette, you started drinking because you lost your job. Not because you were hugely impressed by that oh-clever-and-sexy vodka advert on the telly. So how would the Prof's first 'A' have helped you? Well of course: it wouldn't have.


Listen, Nanny. We don't care how much you think we should be allowed to drink. We don't want you to tell us how to live our lives.

Just fuck off. Fuck right off.


++ update ++ : someone claiming to be Jeanette Shiret has appeared in the comments, and is taking on all comers. Have a look, make up your own mind.
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