Constantly Furious

There comes a time at every party when people begin to realise that there's someone there - usually a bloke - who's overstayed their welcome, who's been there just a bit too long. Oh dear. Look at him.


The party looks on aghast as the poor befuddled fool sways, belches, bumps into things, swears inappropriately, and repeats himself, increasingly tediously. Totally unaware of the disapproval surrounding him, he gets louder and louder, waving his hands and treading on people's toes.
 
He may have arrived full of promise, and been quite interesting, even entertaining, for a short time. But then he just overdid things, and now it’s late, and he's clearly over-tired and over-refreshed.

Before anyone can stop him, the grinning idiot will stagger up to the most attractive person in the room - the one he spilt red wine on two hours ago - and, forgetting he spoke to them earlier, pathetically attempt to chat them up."Hellllllloo! Wha's your name, then?"

When politely rebuffed, he will be baffled and annoyed "Why don' you wanna talk to me? Eh? Eh? Wha's the madder? Not good enough for you? Eh? Stug up bish".

Any minute now, he's going to get aggressive, pick a fight with the biggest bloke in the room, and get pushed into a table of drinks. Then fall asleep on a sofa. Then piss himself.

He's embarrassing himself, and he's embarrassing everyone else at the party. People stare at the floor, or into their drinks, and just wish this idiot would go away.
 
Gordon Brown? That's you, that is.

Do you have any idea how most people in Britain feel, to see you pathetically trying to chat up that bloke you seem infatuated with? Just when we thought we couldn't be embarrassed on the international stage any more.

Gordon, Obama is very nice, we agree. We know you like him, yes. But he doesn't want to talk to you now. You're a bit tired, and you're not making a lot of sense. And he's still a bit cross about what you did earlier. Come away. Perhaps you can talk to him another time. No, no, come away.

Do you not feel very well? Oh dear. Why don't you go and have a nice, long lie down, eh? You'll feel so much better.

And so will we. Has he gone? Phew.

_