On your bike
With almost nothing left to lose, Labour have apparently decided to let anyone, everyone, have a go at governing, and even at coming up with new laws. The lunatics are being given a chance to run the asylum. "My turn, my turn, I've got one".
What is the government doing about the disastrous war in Afghanistan? About the recession, which seems to have ended everywhere but here? About that Libyan bomber? About the expenses scandal? About the broken education system?
Who knows?
But what they are doing, according to the Sunday Times, is planning to change the law, making
..motorists legally responsible for accidents involving cyclists or pedestrians, even if they are not at fault
What? What? Is this a fucking joke? Dear God; can this really be true? Oh yes.
Government advisers are pushing for changes in the civil law that will make the most powerful vehicle involved in a collision automatically liable for insurance and compensation purposes
Why? Why in the name of fuck would you want to do that?
"to encourage greater take-up of environmentally friendly modes of transport"
Ah. There we are. If you want to get what you want, be it access to public funds, grants for 'research' or the laws changed just for you, the magic word is no longer 'Abracadabra'. It's certainly not 'Please' anymore. No ,the magic word is now 'Green'.
Yes, 'Green' is the trump card. Overriding everything, even common sense. 'Green' is so important that we must change the very laws of the land - even if it makes them utterly, utterly, Alice-in-Wonderland, Toynbee-on-acid, nonsensical - to herd the sheeple in the right direction.
Doubtless some hand-wringing tree-hugger could come up with some tolerable reasons to get more of the population onto bicycles, but is it really necessary to acheive this by offering them the sort of blanket legal indemnity that would make a Libyan terrorist blush and mutter "no, no, this is too much, really".
Of course it fucking isn't. This smacks of good old fashioned special-interest lobbying.
Aaaannnndddd ... yes. Here he is. Phillip Darnton, chief executive of 'Cycling England', an "agency funded by the Department for Transport" - so, a fucking Quango funded by us - to promote cycling, said
“I would like to see the legal onus placed on motorists when there are accidents"
Yes, well, you probably fucking would. CF would like a Ferrari and a mud-wrestle with Megan Fox, but let's be realistic here. Surely this taxpayer-funded, woefully misguided, incredibly inappropriate lunacy can't be taken seriously?
No. too late. It's started already:
'the government is spending £100m on building cycle routes in 18 pilot towns.'
One hundred million? Brilliant. Delightful. So CF recently paid over 400 fucking quid for the privilege of using the pot-holed roads for another year, some of which was doubtless used to fund these fucking toy-town roads for bicycles.
CF has ranted about cyclists before, and his fury at their complete inability to obey any of the rules of the road, or the pavement, or wherever they choose to go. And their weekend races, held on major roads that we pay increasingly ridiculous amounts of 'road tax' to build and maintain, and that they consider to be a playground provided free of charge for their delight.
If this law ever makes to the statute books - and, given the stupidity of the current government and the power of the word 'Green', it probably bloody will, then it'll be time for the people to rise up and take action.
The law says that the 'most powerful' vehicle is to blame. So bikes always beat cars in this game. But similarly, pedestrians beat bikes. Same rules. The next steps are obvious.
Throw yourselves under the wheels of bicycles at every opportunity. Jump out in front of them from behind lampposts. Fling yourselves at them from between parked cars.
Yes they'll go clattering to the ground. Their 500 quid carbon-fibre toys might get broken. Their fluorescent spandex might get torn. Their silly little mushroom helmets might get scratched. They might be hurt and angry, but you must remind them of the law - it's their fucking fault.
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