A forced down fare for all?
Hence today's exciting announcement from the tired, clapped-out, not-much-longer-to-be-with-us Labour party that it will include in its manifesto 'a commitment to force rail companies to offer passengers the cheapest fare'.
Notice the use of the word 'force'. That's one of Labour's favourite words. They force us to do this, force others to do that, it's all force, force, force: for our own good, natually.
And now, they're going to force Railway companies to sell us the cheapest ticket. They're going to create yet another law, to add to the tens of thousands of others they've created.
Well hoo-fuckng-rah. That's what we need to lift us out of recession and propel us to the glorious sunlit uplands of utopia, isn't it?
Apparently, when official prodnoses, interfering busybodies and kings of unwanted junkmail Which? carried out one of their tedious 'investigations', it found that the cheapest ticket was offered on "fewer than half of occasions". Oh no!
Well that certainly doesn't tie in with CF's 20+ years, 10 different stations, railway experience, which is that the people behind the soundproof glasses will generally tap away at their keyboards and tell you what the cheapest option is quite willingly.
After all, its not like they're on fucking commission, is it? They get no more pay for selling you the 99 quid day return than the 96 quid one, so why would they?
And, in these ultra-modern times, you can .. wait for it .. actually buy a ticket from a machine, you know. And what the machine does, is - here comes the science part - display all of the possible fares to the destination you gave, with a cost next to each one. Wow.
So you, the consumer, can use the fucking eyes God gave you, and your tiny, X-factor-addled brain, to work out which is the cheapest by the technique known as fucking well looking.
So, this isn't really an area which needs extensive legislation, is it? And it's not even a subject that needs mentioning in a manifesto, really, is it?
For fuck's sake.
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