What does the Student Loans Company do?
Take the loans and grants for University Students, for instance. In Labour's ceaseless drive to tinker and interfere with everything, the processing of maintenance grants has been moved away from local authorities and - hurrah for Labour! - passed to yet another Quango, the Student Loans Company.
At the same time, the number of students has leapt upwards - by over 87,000 - following the changes to the criteria by which a student can receive further education. Under the current governments, it is no longer necessary to gain 2 or 3 A-Levels to make it to the upper slopes of education in the UK. No. There are now simpler criteria: each prospective student must now be able to prepare and consume a Pop-Tart without suffering a personal injury (Or, of course, be in possession of a non-UK passport and wealthy parents).
So, a Quango stuffed to the rafters with inept management, in its first year of directly running the loans process, with a vastly increased number of students requiring loans. What could possibly go wrong?
Plenty. The BBC claims that delays to money from the SLC have left up to 175,000 students without financial assistance. Not just no beer money, no money. No rent, no bus tickets, no nothing. A bit tricky to fully participate in your 'Practical Haircare' or 'Ambulatory Studies' degree course if you've been sleeping on a park bench, isn't it?
But the deputy chief executive of the SLC, Derek Ross, is having noneof that. He reckons..
"We are only dealing with 50,000 .. Our staff are working extremely hard to make sure these students are paid .."
Your staff are working extremely hard? Oh dear. The poor things. Counseling all round then, when they've finished doing their fucking jobs. There's not many things you'd expect a company called 'The Student Loans Company' to do other than .. err .. give fucking loans to fucking students, is there? And you don't actually seem to have been able to manage that.
Then, in a classic piece of bullshit:
"The information we have is that everyone who applied on time has been paid on time"
Whenever any claim is prefaced with the words "The information we have is ..", you can just smell the stench of lies and bullshit, can't you?
The Higher Education Minister, David Lammy, has had a meeting with the SLC, apparently to
"..ensure the company understood the frustration the delays are causing."
Well, hoo-fucking-rah. Make sure you distance yourself and the government from the appalling mess you created, won't you?
Why don't you meet with some of us, Lammy-kins, so that we can - by means of verbal abuse and possibly even physical violence - ensure you understand our fucking frustration at the enormous damage you and your fuckwitted party have done to Higher Education?
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