The Irish get all the luck. They get a Government, and a Finance Minister, who actually admit that they're in a deep recession, and that drastic action must be taken.

And what do we get? We get Alistair 'Eyebrows' Darling standing there pretending that nothing's wrong after all. "A position of strength". For fuck's sake.

The Irish get a budget, yesterday, openly described as "medicine" for the terrible state they're in.

We get a budget designed solely to make Labour look good, and the Tories look bad. To create political dividing lines, rather than balance the bloody books.

The Irish have cut back on welfare payments - less for 'jobseekers' and less on benefits overall. Share the pain.

We won't. We'll continue to pour vast amounts of cash all over "the welfare", Labour's core vote.We've even increased a couple of welfare payments, as a little pre-election bribe.

And to fund that, we get a second increase in National Insurance, and a sneaky fiddle with tax bands, so that those that do work pay yet more tax on their income. 52% and rising, folks.

The Irish get public sector paycuts across the board. Even the Taoiseach gets a 20% pay cut.

We get Gordon Brown and his fucking useless cronies still taking the same (totally undeserved) salaries and expenses, and the masses get cheaper bingo, so that we might not notice.

The Irish get an emergency budget that reflects the gravity of the situation, and makes deep, painful cuts to remedy it.

We get a Mickey Mouse, class envy, grandstanding, will-never-be-collected, "spank the banks" bonus tax.

Those lucky, lucky Irish.

_

The Department for Work and Pensions are very big on nailing benefits cheats; as they point out:

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) takes benefit theft very seriously. Although the vast majority of people who claim benefits are honest, those who steal benefits are picking the pockets of law-abiding taxpayers. In 2007-08 benefit thieves stole an estimated £800 million from public funds, that's why we are determined to catch them.

They're using every means at their disposal, including this "Report a Benefit Cheat Online" Form.

Now, do we know anybody who's cheating on their benefits claims? We do, don't we? How about this lady, who, according to the Daily Mail, has been less than honest with her claims:

"The property on which she has claimed thousands of pounds in second homes allowance is actually her primary residence for tax purposes .. The Home Secretary has pocketed £84,000 of taxpayers' money on the home she shares with her husband and their two children in Redditch, her West Midlands constituency.. That was only possible because she persuaded the House of Commons authorities that her main home is actually her sister's spare bedroom in London, where she lodges during the week .. Redditch council has confirmed that Miss Smith pays council tax as if the £300,000 constituency house was her main home."

Dear me. And how about this lady, Baroness Troffin, sorry Uddin; the devils over at Devil's Kitchen have slated her, after the Sunday Times told us that she..

"..has been claiming allowances intended for peers living outside London although she resides only four miles from the Lords .. the baroness bought a two-bedroom flat in Maidstone in 2005 and has named it as her main home to claim almost £30,000 a year in accommodation expenses from the House of Lords .. Residents from the five other flats in the same block as Uddin’s property all say they have never seen her there. They could see through the windows that the bedrooms were unfurnished. "

Not only that, which is probably the kind of mistake anyone could make.. wait .. no it fucking isn't ; but also

"The Sunday Times has challenged Uddin about a further £83,000 worth of expense claims she made before she bought the Maidstone flat in September 2005. She has claimed that her main residence has been outside the capital since 2001 but refuses to say where, despite repeated questions"

CF thinks that both these ladies are -- as well as disgusting thieving troughers -- Benefit Thieves.

So, what are we waiting for: get over to the form , and get typing. But be careful. As the DWP say on their site:

"Please make sure that you are not being watched while you are filling in this form to keep the information you give as confidential as possible.If you print out a copy of the completed form, you should also keep this safe."

Given that one of the ladies is a well-connected Peer, and the other one runs the Police, CF thinks that's wise advice.



Admiring hat-tip to Old Holborn - the man's an evil genius...


UPDATE: better get those forms done quick. According to Iain Dale, the Daily Telegraph has bought the entire disk of MP's expenses. We're going to have a whole load more forms to fill tomorrow.



UPDATE 2: well, now we know we can add McBroon and half the fucking cabinet to the list. CF's fingers are starting to ache from all the angry typing.

Baroness Uddin was already a strong candidate for trougher of the year, following revelations that she'd claimed 100 grand from the taxpayers by keeping an empty flat (unfurnished, never lived in, say neighbours) in Kent as her designated residence.

But it gets worse: according to Andrew Gilligan, in the Evening Standard the flat she really lived in was Social Housing - a council flat. The housing association receives a massive subsidy (again, from taxpayers) and can therefore keep the average rent for its properties at around a sixth of the market rate.

Gilligan goes on:

"However, even without her allowances from the Lords, Baroness Uddin, 49, is well above the income bracket to qualify for social housing. She has held a number of highly-remunerated directorships at major companies, including former ITV giant Carlton Television, and was a senior employee and parliamentary consultant for the Excelcare nursing home group"

So not short of a bob or too then? Oh, but there's more:

"Because she claims her main residence is outside London, Lady Uddin is also entitled to collect up to £174 every day she attends the Lords for the cost of accommodation in the capital. The amount is paid to peers without the need to produce receipts and many claim the maximum every day they attend.

Baroness Uddin claimed a total of £29,675 for accommodation in 2007/8, a time when the maximum daily accommodation claim was £165 a day. Her bill represents a claim at the maximum possible rate for 179 days, more days than the Lords actually sat that year"

And, just when CF thought he could not be more dear-god-i'm-going-to-die enraged, this quote, from the trougher herself, (Hat tip to the Ranting King Penguin) came to light:

“My Lords, does my noble friend accept that our policy on homeless families impacts greatly on those who are waiting on the list? Is she aware that about 25,000 families are on the waiting list in east London?"

Why don't you free one up, you grasping bitch?

UPDATE: Old Holborn is behind this great idea: check it now before its taken down.

UPDATE 2: Beautiful Garden just posted this over at Guido's: Spitalsfield Housing Association (the organisation providing this dirt-cheap accommodation to the needy) Board of Management contains:

• Ala Uddin - Vice-Chair
• Faruque Uddin - Housing Officer
• Abdus Uddin - Assistant Maintenance Officer

Complete co-incidence, and no relation, surely?

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