Constantly Furious

Eric Joyce joined the army in 1978 as a private in the Black Watch. He went on to attend the Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst and was commissioned into the Royal Army Educational Corps as a Captain in 1987.

Quite why he walked away from all of that to join the squalid world of British politics - particularly in the even more squalid ranks of the NuLabour party - was a mystery.

** Update ** Thanks to commenter 'Last of the few', now we do know. Major Joyce was suspended on full pay for over 18 months for making a series of accusations about "snobbery" and "public school bias" in the Army. He was described by Senior Officers as "unemployable" so, naturally, became a Labour MP. And since he didn't like the Army, where better for him to work than in Defence?

Joyce resigned last night as PPS to the Secretary of State for Defence. As he did so, he sent a letter to the Prime Minister which Brown would do well to have read to him (after his mobile phone has been prised from his fingers).

Joyce is now being hailed as a brave and honourable man in many quarters, but hey, hang on a fucking minute. What exactly was he trying to do? 'Something' was for the soldiers, 'our boys', his former colleagues? No. That 'something' is a really nothing more than his attempt to boost the fortunes of his beloved Labour Party

The timing was deliberate: McBroon is due later today to regale us with a pack of lies about how brilliantly the war in Afghanistan is going, and how happy 'our boys' are to be there. Eric wants Gordon to know that, er, we're all starting to think that that's bollocks.

In his letter to Brown, he talks about "a critical time for Labour and Defence” (not for the Army, you'll note) and cites “problems which need fixing with the greatest urgency”.

He then grabs Gordon's attention, with a subject close to Broon's heart, warning “we cannot win [the next election] unless we grip defence.”

Putting aside the obvious point - you can grip what you like Eric, you ain't gonna win the next fucking election - is this really the main concern of the Defence department? Sadly, it probably is.

In a note that will appeal to Brown's blind partisan hatred for those evil Tories, Joyce warns that CallMeDave's gang will try to “convince the public that we have lost our empathy with the Defence community. We must not allow this to happen.”. You've hit gold there, Eric; Gordo will be more happy than to lie about the opposition's views: it saves him having to have any of his own.

Notice, though, Joyce doesn't focus on whether the 'empathy' has been lost or not: only about - as usual with Labour - controlling what the public might think.

There's more: “Nor do I think we can continue with the present level of uncertainty about the future of our deployment in Afghanistan.” Clearly, Eric, you haven't noticed that there are the same levels of uncertainty in every area for which this hopelessly fucking incompetent government are responsible. They don't know what the fuck to do, so they just sit and stare, like rabbits in the headlights. Any statements on anything are necessarily brim-full of spin and totally devoid of content.

He goes on on to say “above all, Labour must remember that service folk and their families are our people .. and we must at literally all costs continue to show by our actions that we mean it.”

Oh fuck: a chance for Labour's astro-turfers and Twitter Csars to kick off another tedious #weLove.. campaign. "Just met two hunky squaddies who told me they love it in Afghanistan. #welovethearmy" twitter @sarahBrown and @bevaniteellie, over and over again. At least that'll be cheaper than sending more helicopters.

Joyce also cautions Broon that “I do not think the public will accept for much longer that our losses can be justified by simply referring to the risk of greater terrorism on our streets.” But Eric, that's the official spin. That's the fib Brown has told so often, he's begun to believe it himself.

And again, no mention of whether the losses are or are not acceptable, only whether they can be justified to the voters. A pattern begins to emerge here.


Eric Joyce is not protesting on behalf of his ex-colleagues in the Army, the poor sods eating dust and dodging Taliban bullets. He's not trying to get them better conditions, or more equipment. He's not trying to cut short the war, or bring some of them home.

No, what he's actually doing is warning the rest of the party that unless Labour can convince 'the public' that they do 'care' about the Army, and 'care' about the war, they might not win the next election.

Suddenly, he looks a fuck sight less honourable, doesn't he?

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