Constantly Furious

Our friends from North of the Border are not happy. In fact, the Scottish Nationalists are 'furious': they've not been allowed to appear in the the finals of EleX-factor, the great debate.

So very furious are the party that they're going to do what every normal British person does these days when they can't get exactly what they want, exactly when they want it: they're going to sue someone.

After raising £50,000 to fund their court battle, the party will this morning lodge papers at the Court of Session in Edinburgh. SNP deputy leader Nicola Sturgeon will go to the court to hand over the papers, which doubtless open with the phrase so beloved of the self-diagnosed-disadvantaged: 'It's no' fair!'

Apparently, the party is seeking a 'judicial review' of the BBC decision to exclude it from Thursday night's grand final, where particpants will be singing a medley of Michael Jackson hits. 'Aye, judge, we want oor turn'.

The SNP would like Alex Salmond to be included in the debate, presumably so that he can inform the United Kingdom what he and his six fellow MP's will do when they somehow .. err ... hold the majority of seats in the UK parliament after the General Election.

They don't think it's right or balanced for the debate to proceed with just the three party leaders already booked to appear.

The poor, deluded sods have only got one chance.

If Gordon Brown and his advisors admitted to themselves that, every time his grey and gurning face appears on television, Labour haemorrhage thousands more votes; and if David Cameron and his advisors admit that, every time he appears on television, the camera shows him for the shiny public relations weasel he really is, things might change.

If the lightbulbs came on over their heads, two out of the three parties involved in the debate would realise that yet another one of these festivals of arse was ill-advised in the extreme.

They'd realise that the only real beneficiary of these debates has ever been Nick Smugg; and who cares what he thinks?

If that were the case, then there would be a lot of not-very-subtle pressure on the BBC (behind the scenes, naturally) to have the final debate cancelled.

But that wouldn't happen, would it?

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