In the latest crackdown on the collection of thieves and fraudsters that infest the House of Commons, Sir Christopher 'to-be-found-dead-in-a-wood-soon' Kelly will announce that MP's can no longer 'employ' their spouses or children.

This is a bit of a blow to the 200 - fucking 200! - MP's who currently do exactly that.

That's right; 200 MP's, not content with their own salary and expenses, help themselves to a bit more of our money, and pass it to other members of their families.

The most famous, and most egregious of recent times, is Derek 'the Conman' Conway. That arch trougher had to pay back thousands of fucking pounds after an inquiry stated that there was

"..no evidence that his two sons had worked for salaries they were paid from the public purse"

That's a nice way of putting it, isn't it? We'd all be a lot harder on a traditional benefit fraudster, who had, say, 'no evidence' of a bad back, wouldn't we?

That bastard would be - rightly - identified as thief, derided by the press, dragged into court and could well end up banged up. So why not Derek Conman? And why, when he was found to have squirmed through this loophole, was it not closed up. Why now, months later?

And of course, no discussion on expenses, particularly on expenses for spouses, would be complete without a mention of Jacqui Smith, would it? She paid her husband handsomely with our money, and he in turn repaid us by jizzing all over the soft furnishings we'd bought him, like some sort of over-entitled chimpanzee.

So, yes, Sir Christopher, you tell them they can't carry on and ...  What? What's that? Oh for fuck's sake.

The crooks are ahead of us. Before this change is even announced, the fucking thieves have worked out a way around it.

They've told the Telegraph about their cunning plan:

"The wives, husbands and other family members currently employed at the tax-payers' expense plan to apply for jobs with other MPs as a way of dodging the guidelines"

Oh for Christ's sake.  That's not even cunning. That's just fucking blatant. That's taking the piss. Taking the piss on an epic scale. Taking the piss in a fucking enormous ocean-going urine-removal vessel.


How much contempt do these greedy, thieving, troughing bastards hold us in, if they think they can get away with a pathetic fucking trick like that? How stupid do they think we are? Plenty.


And how weak and utterly fucking feeble will Kelly, Legg, Bumptious Bercow and McBroon look if they actually let this happen? Completely.


And how surprised, astonished, amazed, will we be when, in spite of an uproar of protest from the taxpaying public, this particular rule is quietly dropped?

Not very...


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Apparently, that Ryan Giggs, he had a good game yesterday. For those of you who don't follow the football, Ryan Giggs is one of those sporting heroes who makes a living kicking a leathersphere between some wooden posts, in spite of the best efforts of some other people to stop him. Apparently, a group of men who don't actually come from Manchester managed to do this twice, while a group of men who don't actually come from Bolton only managed once. Good times.

For entertaining us all so fabulously, Mr. Giggs is paid, well, fabulously. Over 75,000 pounds. Per week. Every fucking week. But, as he tells the Manchester Evening News,  he thinks he's worth it:

"There is plenty of money in the game but the majority of the players deserve it. Perhaps 20 years ago they would not have got paid the money that they're getting now, but that is the way that football is. Good luck to them - the money is in the game, why not earn it while they have got the chance?"

The money is "in the game", is it? Presumably because its not 'in the pockets' of the poor deluded fools who choose to pay sixty quid a week to watch all this leather sphere kicking, spitting and diving. And another fifty so as to wear the same shirt - albeit a lot bigger - as Ryan.

But nobody could really begrudge 'Giggsy' his wealth, innit? The boy's done good. Lucky old Giggsy!

++UPDATE++ : commenters point out that Giggsy is the only wholesome man in soccer, and that Ashley Cole is far more loathsome and undeserving. Please substitute him above.

Nearly as good are those struggling politicians from the valleys, Neil and Glenys Kinnock. Remember them? Good honest, normal folk, the kind you'd have living next door.

Well, they've moved on a bit since then, see? The Kinnocks, Old Holborn discovered as he perused the Danish newspapers (huh?), have done rather well, look you, from their association with the European Gravy train. So far they've pocketed over 8 million quid in "pay and allowances" from their various marvelous efforts to better the world, whatever those were. Lucky old Kinnocks!

And then there's Jenson Button, who is reckoned to earn about 4 million quid this year for driving a car. A fast car, mind you, and quite tricky on a wet day.

But Jenson is paid for driving it. Not designing it, or building it, or tuning it: just fucking sitting in it, as it goes round and round in circles for a couple of hours, remembering to keep the wheels on the grey bit and away from the green bits, and to stop for petrol when the radio tells him to.

Because Jenson managed to do this today, and drove past a man with a flag before most of the other carbon-fibre bathtub jockeys, he's officially the world's best driver, and earn even more next year. Lucky Jensen!

So, remind CF, who is it we're jealous of - and simultaneously, quite angry with - for having far more money than they seem to deserve?

Oh, that's right,  The Sunday Times' Leader reminds us, and the Telegraph joins in: The Bankers. Those Bastards.


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