Blatterly ridiculous

The face of evil

It seems pretty well impossible to open a paper, listen to the radio or fire up a browser without being subjected to a seemingly endless torrent of crap about the ridiculously named Sepp Blatter.

The world stands aghast at the horrors he hath wrought, apparently. WHY, for fucks sake?

Has he murdered thousands of rebels, leaving children parentless and wives mourning? Well, no.

Has he fucked up the entire economy of a nation, leaving debts it will take generations to repay? No, that wasn't him.

Has he pushed a person with learning difficulties over, and hosed them with cold water? No, not him either.

So he's a well dodgy foreigner, who's taken more backhanders than a Nigerian customs officer? So he's got a fucking Learjet? Who fucking cares?

So he's helped himself to the Presidency for the fourth time in a row? So what? The presidency of a bunch of other equally corrupt foreigners. He's not sitting on any oil; he's not poison gassing his colleagues. What do you want to do, get the Americans to send in some choppers? Effect some Regime Change? Dear God.

This twat doesn't get any of CF's money. He doesn't suckle on CF's taxes - in fact, he doesn't get anybody's fucking taxes, does he? Not even the Television Licence money goes to FIFA, does it?

If, like CF, you are one of the many, many people who choose not to spunk sixty quid to sit and watch 22 millionaires rolling on the floor and spitting at each other, and you don't pay fifty quid for your T-shirts just so they can have the same adverts on as Wayne's do, and you don't pay Sky forty quid a month for the privilege of bringing yet more tedious bladder chasing into your life, then this twat Blatter is not getting any of your money, is he?

And clearly, for all the huffing and puffing, our own FA isn't going to influence him now he's got his chops in the trough, are they? If the biggest threat we can muster is that we might not send a team to struggle through the group stages of the 2104 World Cup before being knocked out in the Quarter Finals, then he's probably just going to carry on filling his boots, isn't he?

So CF, for one, no longer wants to hear that Seppy has just eaten a champagne brunch off the body of a supermodel, or just had his Cheetah gold plated.

We. Don't. Give. A. Shit.


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