Following the chaos in Westminster, there has been endless analysis in the main stream media of the roles and motivations of the many players.

Several commentators are saying that Downing Street's problems stem from it being too macho; that there should be more women involved; and that the only people who came out the utter fucking shambles with any credit were the female MP's.

Lance Price, in the Guardian's CiF, even thinks there should be an all-women government:

"..there are now more than enough on the backbenches with the experience and talent to form a perfectly workable government. They could even decide amongst themselves which jobs they took. Women, in my experience, even in politics, are more sensible about these things."

CF begs to differ. In CF's opinion, the common factor we're seeing here is that many women in politics today - regardless of political affiliation - are completely batshit fucking crazy.

What the fuck is Hazel Blears thinking of? a huge, dramatic, carefully-timed resignation. Then, just a few days later, she decides that, actually, everything she did was totally, utterly wrong, and makes a series of emotional and grovelling apologies.

""In hindsight that judgement was wrong .. I should have waited until after the election. The effect on the party is something I will live with forever"

And Harriet Harman? Very busy, pushing her legislation that will ban the 'whites only' membership rules of the BNP . What? What? Are you insane? Exactly how many "non-white" folk have been clamouring to join the party that doesn't recognise them as British? As Old Holborn points out, this is about as droolingly nuts as a man insisting that he be given the right to have babies.

Caroline Flint? Nutter. One week she's clambering in and out of silk frocks to pose for some magazine, the next she's whining that she's not taken seriously, and Gordon just thinks she's window dressing. Every fucking story in the press about this (possibly valid) point was illustrated with photo's of her pouting moodily in a photo session and a posh frock.

And the creme de la creme? The top of the crazy heap?The arch fucking loon? The oh-dear-god-she's-really-lost-it-now fruitcake? Well of course, its Nadine fucking Dorries. In spite of her widely-reported and largely lunatic blogging about "poor me", CallMeDave doesn't seem to be able to keep away from her.

The other day, they went out for a meal together. Nice. Was Nadine grateful? Did she think better of Dave? Oh boy, yeah.

Apparently she was so excited to be dining with him, she was tipped over the edge into full-blown insanity. Bear in mind that the text below is from the blog of a grown woman; a fucking politician no less, not a love-struck 13 year old:

The night ended as it began, with laughter. Can you imagine Brown even knowing what I was talking about, if I were sitting next to him and I said 'just when you thought life couldn't get any better, along comes a Mint Baileys.' ? Exactly.

And it was good to see him laugh because we all know that there must be times during his day, when David the man, trapped within the pages of his frantic diary, cries somewhere inside.

Nurse! Nurse! A small sedative for Ms. Dorries...

.

Nadine Dorries, Tory MP and absolute ruler of the Kingdom of PoorMe, has bounced back from the removal of her blog by the evil Daily Telegraph, and now re-appears with a sparkling new blog.

Thanks to the wonders of technology, her every last utterance and trivial thought over the last 3 years has been preserved and transferred, and we can once more join her in wallowing in her self-pity. Get this:

"realising that with the Archbishops comments, that at least I had God on my side, I began to vomit."

Which is ironic, because when CF realised Nadine was blogging again, he began to vomit. For fucks sake.

CF has already written about how this womans inane, self-pitying witterings are wasting both bandwidth and the apparently limited supply of public wrath.

Remember, we talked about this? Fascinating though this woman's deluding ramblings doubtless are,why is Hazel Blears still in the Cabinet? Why do the blasted Balls remain completely untouched? Why the fuck is Elliot Morely not in prison yet?

And the old favourite: why, why-oh-fucking-why hasn't Baroness Uddin been dragged onto the streets and hung from a lamp-post?

For fucks sake, we want some arses kicked here; we want some radical change in a corrupt and broken system, not to read a whinge about Nadine's fucking tummy ache, or how naughty the main stream media can be.

Be *smack!* quiet, woman.

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• Telegraph shuts down Tory MP's blog (guardian.co.uk)
• MPs' expenses: Tory MP Nadine Dorries admits she only spends weekends and holidays in her 'main home' (telegraph.co.uk)
• Oh Nadine, DO shut up (constantlyfurious.blogspot.com)

Nadine Dorries, the Tory MP embroiled in her very own special twist on the expenses scam, really doesn't know when to stop fucking digging.

The various 'facts' and allegations are so bloody mind-numbingly, arse-clenchingly tangled and tedious that they really don't bear repeating here.

It's what the stupid woman is doing now that's so infuriating. Dragging her sorry arse from studio to studio; writing long-winded, self-pitying rants on her blog; claiming that the Telegraph is running a "witch-hunt" (a witch-hunt, you silly bitch? Witches were innocent); drawing comparisons with McCarthyism; alleging that its now so 'awful' at the House of Commons that

"People are constantly checking to see if others are OK. Everyone fears a suicide. If someone isn't seen, offices are called and checked."

Dear god. What utter bollocks.

And who the fuck does she thinks this festival of imbecility is helping?

She's not helping herself: she looks sillier and sillier as she becomes shriller and shriller. There's not yet enough evidence for CallMeDave to sack her, but he must wish there was. He's going to have to sack her for the lesser crime of being fucking irritating soon.

She's not helping fellow MP's - none of us believe they're feeling suicidal, and none of us would feel remotely sorry for the troughing bastards even if they did.

She's certainly not helping the Tories - the left-of-centre blogs are having an absolute field day with this 'typical Tory'. Tim Ireland has - as is his wont - written reams about her, and has spent the morning sitting one-handed, with his trousers 'round his ankles, Twittering '#sackdorries' every five fucking minutes.

Hoppi Sen compares her to Sarah Palin:

"..in the way she’s an absloute embarrassment to the Conservative party whenever she’s put near a microphone.

(oh, and that she offers rather confused explanations when accused of personally benefitting from her political career)"

He's not wrong.

The labour-luvvin' blogs are delighted at the chance to pretend to forget that all the really big sleaze is on the Labour benches, with a big slice of that in the fucking Cabinet.

Only Iain Dale, who makes no secret that he fucking adores the woman, has fallen silent. And that in itself is just as telling.

The stupid woman is sucking up gallons, tons, acres of anger that should be used elsewhere.

Why is Hazel Blears still a cabinet minister? Why are the bloody Balls completely untouched (yes, yes). Why the fuck isn't Elliot Morely in prison yet?

And why, why-oh-fucking-why hasn't Baroness Uddin been dragged onto the streets and hung from a lamp-post?

All the real crooks and fraudsters are having a little bit of 'quiet time', away from the spotlight to cover their tracks, rally their supporters and begin to wonder if, maybe, they're going to get away with it.

All because Nadine just will not, cannot, shut the fuck up.

Its a shame, really, that the 1950's are over, and its no longer acceptable to give a hysterical woman a ringing slap:

Dammit, be *smack* quiet, woman.



UPDATE: according to gorgeous, pouting Tory Totty, CallMeDave has made a statement to distance himself and the party from this drooling nutter. Not a sacking, but a good start.


UPDATE 2: as of a little after 10pm tonight (Friday) the crazy bitch's blog has gone offline. Really, properly 'Server Error' gone. Who did this? Tim Ireland will be delighted. CallMeDave will be relieved.



(hat-tip to Chris Paul at LabourOfLove for the image)