Dawn Butler is currently the Labour MP for Brent South,  while Lib Dem Sarah Teather represents Brent East.

In the supposedly-coming general election, due to boundary changes, there'll be only one seat - Brent Central. Two girls, one seat.

Naturally, both ladies are desperate to make this seat their own, and have begun scrapping already.

Dawn Butler is worried that she's tainted by the revelation that she's been a-troughing, claiming for a 'whirlpool bath', whatever the fuck that is, for her 'second' home, a home which is no further from the House of Commons than her fucking main home.

That won't play well with the voters of Brent Central, will it?

So Dawn's desperation's doubled.  In fact so desperate is Ms. Butler that she is already expanded her campaign to include to the standard Labour tactic: rather than think of some policies, smear your opponents.

There's been a buzz in blogland for some time about Sarah Teather's somewhat dodgy use of office allowances. While making a lot of noise about not claiming any second home allowance, she seems to have quietly used our money to pay for political canvassing on her office 'phone lines. And, while not having a second home, she seems to have paid her entire constituency party rent bill from her allowances.

Recently, Commissioner John Lyon received a formal complaint on these very matters from a Mr Shahid Razzaq, and began an investigation.

However, when Lyon spoke with Mr Razzaq to follow up, he denied having made the complaint. He also  pointed out that he did not actually live at the address given on the complaining letter.

Lyon then received another complaint, also supposedly from Mr Razzaq, at a different address. This second address wasn't Mr Razzaq's either. In fact, better still, this address did not actually exist at all.

A little bit of further investigation revealed that Mr Razzaq is the brother-in-law of Leanna Ait-Younnes. And who's she? Why she's someone who - wait for it - works for Dawn Butler. What a fucking surprise. Isn't that an astonishing coincidence?

In a further amazing coincidental twist, Ms Ait-Younnes own address is nearly identical to the false address given on the second complaint.

Naturally, dodgy Dawn has denied absolutely everything, bleating “I don’t know what my staff do 24 hours a day”. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ms Teather, in spite of her relief at having the investigation dropped - or at least, dropped until a real person complains - is not happy:

“The British public are sick to the back teeth of Labour ministers trying to distract from their own failings by smearing their opponents.

“Joanna Lumley and others taking on Labour ministers have all learnt that when Labour are desperate they resort to innuendo, smears and lies.

“Dawn Butler’s second home expenses were revealed by the Telegraph. Even Labour can’t spin their way out of that one.”

Oh, it's all so fucking pathetic. Such desperation for power. Smear and counter-smear.

CF hopes that somehow, both of these silly bitches lose.

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What a busy week blogger, protester and celebrity mask-wearer Old Holborn is having.

First, he was involved in the Blogosphere's campaign to free Nick Hogan, the landlord convicted of .. err .. having people smoke in his pub when he wasn't even there. For fuck's sake.

Hogan was jailed because he couldn't pay the fines and costs slapped on him, but when the Blogosphere had raised the money, OH delivered the cash necessary to free the poor sod.

Then today, as the three most egregiously troughing MP's had their first day in court, OH and friends went down to shout encouragement. No, not encouragement for the fucking MP's, encouragement for the court. Hang those fuckers high.

CF couldn't make it today - pressure of work - but the TV cameras did. As the BBC entitled it:

"MPs Elliott Morley, David Chaytor and Jim Devine are jeered by crowds on leaving Westminster Magistrates Court"

Yeah. And how sweet it is to see.

And would you just look at the footage? People jeering, people shouting abuse. People waving protest banners, people wearing pig masks - no, wait, perhaps that's Elliot Morley.

Fast forward to 30 seconds in, and admire. Free speech, witty protest, in action.

Nice.

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Could it be? Is it possible? Yes, it does seem that, somehow, David 'CallMeDave' Cameron has woken up to feel his silken boxer shorts somewhat tighter than normal. Yup, prompted by the threat of a hung parliament, Dave has grown a pair.

The buttered new potato (copyright: everyone) has attacked history's worst Prime Minister, Gordon McBroon, in such strong terms that even the normally completely, utterly, totally non-biased and even-handed BBC has been stung into action; and in turn described CMD as 'audacious'. Fuckin' 'ell, the spinners must be worried.

So, what's got him so mad then? Who rattled Dave's cage? What could possibly have driven Dave to this attack?

Oh, just one of those petty Westminster squabbles, a trivial ... what? ... wait ... hang on a fucking minute. No it isn't.

Dave's a little irritated - as should all of us be - that the three Labour MPs - Elliot Morley, Jim Devine and David Chaytor – who were charged with expenses fraud have decided - or rather, been advised by Labour's legal experts - to try to use parliamentary privilege to protect themselves.

Let's just put that a little more clearly: these thieving bastards stole thousands of pounds and now claim to be untouchable because they're MP's. What?.

Just fuck right off, will you? In fact, fuck off, then come back and fuck off again.

And what's made the Jersey Royal mad is that - surprise, surprise - the idiot clinging to the levers of power, our beloved PM is doing ... errr ... precisely fuck all about this.

But over to CallMeDave:

"Look how he tolerates the disgusting sight of Labour MPs taking parliamentary privilege, designed to help MPs fight for their constituents; for truth and justice; and abuse it in order to save their skins and avoid prosecution for fraud and wrongdoing"

Cameron believes Gordon Brown is to blame for - as usual - failing to act decisively over the issue.

".. Brown is a shameless defender of the old order ... he is just not capable of dealing with the post-expenses reform that is necessary."

And Dave has yet more..

“Even worse, it’s been reported that the Labour Party’s official solicitor is providing the three MPs with legal advice. At the very least, Gordon Brown should immediately clarify whether the Labour Party is paying for that and withdraw the whip from these shameless Labour MPs."

It's not often CF finds himself in complete agreement with CallMeDave, but on this occasion, he's sure gettin' it said.

“We cannot have five more years of his old politics. For the health of our democracy it is now essential that this shameless defender of the old elite goes as soon as possible.”

Fucking right. Shame it's probably going to be this very same potato that takes over later this year, but a least he's showing some hunger for the prize.

Hit 'im again, Dave.

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Today could be a very good day. Although not for six people in the Westminster area.

Finally, at last, prosecutors are due to reveal whether they intend to bring criminal charges against six MPs and peers over their expenses claims. Oh yes. About fucking time.

Police handed files on the six - whose names are so far unconfirmed - to the Crown Prosecution Service late last year, and later this morning the Director of Public Prosecutions willl make a statement, and name names.

The names are unconfirmed, but rumours are rife.

And guess what? Virtually all of the whispered 'names in the frame' are Labour names: well, what a fucking surprise.

As ever, as soon as a fucking Socialist gets into a position of influence, they suddenly forget all about the redistribution of weath, and all that "..to each according to his needs" bollocks, and start to frantically line their own grubby pockets.

Surely Eliot Morely is on the list. That bastard even looks like a pig that's overdone it at the ol' trough once too often. This is the man who somehow 'forgot' he'd paid off his mortage (with our money, of course) and carried on claiming cash for 18 months for something he was no longer paying for. He claims his innocence, but has bottled out of facing his constituents, and will be standing down at the next election.

Labour MP David Chaytor must also be on the list. Like Morely - a stunning co-incidence - Chayor also failed to notice that we'd paid off his mortgage, and carried on helping himself to our money. Like Morley, Chaytor is not prepared to face the wrath of the voters come the election, and will be standing down.

Labour MP Jim Devine could well be one of the scrounging six. Certainly his local party in Livingston think so - they didn't wait for PC Plod: they've deselected the chiselling git already.

And last, but by absolutely no means least, comes the Queen Pig. The spiritual leader of the troughers. The greediest, most dishonest fucking thief of the lot. Yup, its Pola, sorry, Baroness Uddin. Please let her be one of the six. Please.

This thieving bitch really, really takes the biscuit. All of the biscuits, in fact, along with the plate, the solid silver coffee pot, the cream jug and anything else that's not been nailed down.

She has still failed to provide any proof that a house outside London, which enabled her to claim over 180,000 pounds in expenses, even exists. For years, she has claimed expenses for living in Kent, and for travelling into London, and for staying overnight in London, whilst all the time living in a heavily subsidised Housing Association flat in .. err .. London.

CF is not generally a believer in the BNP line "send 'em back where they came from", but he's willing to make an exception in the Baroness's case.

If Baroness Uddin can be compelled to return to her huge, vulgar mansion in Bangladesh - having first returned every fucking penny she stole, and relinquished her undeserved ermine- then we'll all be a fuck sight better off.

Piss off, Pola.

++ UPDATE ++  Gotcha! MP for Scunthorpe Elliott Morley, Bury North MP David Chaytor and Livingston's Jim Devine all to be charged, as well as Lord Hanningfield, leader of Essex County Council. RESULT!

No word yet on Udders though. Keep watching ...

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It may, at last, be payback time for some of our troughing MP's, when Sir Thomas Legg finally publishes his report.

Don't hold your breath though. Sir Thomas sent out letters to MPs in October last year- more than 4 months ago - detailing his requests for repayment, and still these troughing bastards continue to wriggle.

More than half of MP's have already been told that they should pay large sums of money, that they effectively stole, back to us. The stories, and the ever-changing numbers, have been published so many times that we could all be forgiven for having grown utterly bored of the whole fucking thing, and completely lost track of exactly who owes what, and who it is who's going to pay anything back.

We all know that Jacqui Smith, one of the most egregious troughers of the fucking lot, has already been told she won't have to pay back the tens of thousands of taxpayers cash that she fraudulently scooped up. The lucky sow. Great to have friends in high places, isn't it? That should make your coming richly-deserved and lengthy unemployment easier to bear, eh?

And her fellow MP's are squirming and squealing frantically too. More than 70 MP's have decided that they, like Jacqui, should be able to keep their trotters on the money we gave them, and have appealed against Sir Tom's ruling.

Because if there's one thing everyone in Westminster agrees upon, it's that none of this is the MP's fault. Oh no.

According to the inevitable leaks to the BBC, Sir Tom will criticise a "culture of deference" which made it "difficult for officials to query or challenge their [MP's] claims."

In other words, our beloved 646, to ensure the continued flow of unearned cash into their coffers, fell back on one of the oldest tricks in the fraudsters' book: the 'do you know who I am' bluster.

If some upstart official tries to tell you that you can't have thousands of pounds to give to your sister, or to sort out your tennis court, draw yourself up to your full height, and - raising your voice - let them know just how important and entitled you are.

And now, now it's payback time, they're not going to come quietly. They're appealing, and protesting and pontificating. Not one of the theiving gits is going to hand over a fucking penny unless they're made to.

Apparently, according to Auntie Beeb:

"Gordon Brown urged MPs to pay up and said he would consider withdrawing the whip from those Labour MPs who did not."

Really? Wow. That must have the Labour troughers trembling in their taxpayer-funded Gucci loafers. That must have put the fucking fear of God into those bastards.

A man they despise, a man they won't be working for in a few weeks time, a man who will by the end of this year probably be in either a secondary school staff room or a lunatic asylum, is 'urging' them to hand over shitloads of what they consider to be their cash?

And if they don't? Well, if they don't, a party that will no longer be in Government in a few weeks time, a party that by 2015 will only be known to students studying politics, is going to 'consider' withdrawing the whip? Well, boo hoo.

If CF had the choice between coughing up thousands and receiving a weak slap on the wrist, he'd be holding out his hand in eager anticipation.

Clearly, it's not just the scapegoat expenses officials who show a 'culture of deference', eh?

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