So, the Copenhagen COP15 climate summit has ended in confusion, disarray and total lack of agreement. What a surprise.

And what of our beloved non-elected leader? The man who announced that he had "50 days to save the world"?

He appeared, threw billions of our money about, boasted that he'd beat everyone else's cuts, and desperately searched the corridors and cupboards for the man he loves, Obama Beach.

But then, when everything began to unravel, what did he do? When five of the major nations got together to fling together a compromise, who represented us?

Nothing and no-one.

As ever, when Brown realised there was going to be no glory in this for him, he lost interest. When he became aware that there was no chance to make the Tories look bad, he couldn't see the point any more.

When it looked this conference was going to fail, what did Gordon "courage" Brown do?

Why, Mac-Climatey Brown upped and vanished.

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Gordon 'Jonah' Brown's curse has struck yet again. This time it's landed in Copenhagen.

All weekend we've been hearing noise about how Gordon's going to 'turn up first'  to the conference, ahead of all the other world leaders, like some sort of snot-nosed school swot trying to impress the teacher.

Is that because, as boy Milliband claims

"it's a sign of the seriousness with which he takes this issue" ?

Nah. Its just another piece of pathetic "saved the world" showboating from a man who knows he's got an unwinnable General Election barrelling towards him.

But as with everything Jonah touches, this little PR stunt has already gone wrong.

Before he even steps off his modest bicycle vast aeroplane, the conference has collapsed. As the BBC describes:

"Negotiations at the UN climate summit have been suspended after the African group withdrew co-operation.

African delegations were angry at what they saw as moves by the Danish host government to sideline talks on more emission cuts under the Kyoto Protocol"

So now, there'll be nothing for Gordo' to claim credit for. Nothing to save.

Just Gordon Brown, Ed Milliband, hundreds of dodgy scientists, thousands of deluded tree huggers and hundreds of greedy, compensation-seeking third-world leaders, all in the same place.

Shame the sea-levels aren't rising dramatically off Denmark, isn't it?

Mind you, with Jonah there, perhaps they will...

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