eBay - even worse than PC World

When CF ranted about his utterly hideous (but entirely true) treatment at the hands of PC World, there were many sympathetic comments.

Leg-Iron was among the crowds who have suffered similar indignities, and Mr Eugenides was sympathetic too.

Many commenters suggested going elsewhere, but CF was particularly surprised to see the normally level-headed Old Holborn suggest that the best alternative was eBay: "eBay is your friend".

eBay? Fucking eBay? You're joking, right?

CF would almost (almost) sooner go back to PC World than take his chances on eBay, the online equivalent of the dodgiest pikey-run car boot sale you ever stumbled across.Crowds of idiots selling broken crap and fake shit to each other.

You might not have to get off your fat arse to buy something, but in every other way its the most unpleasant shopping experiene possible.

You wait five fucking days, having bid on something that's probably fake anyway, only to find some fucking moron has put on twelve separate bids, one after the other, each for some reason exactly 74p more than the last, and pushed the price up to exactly a pound more than you'd have paid in the fucking shops.

Plus the extortionate 8.99 'P & P' that you have to pay, for an old box wrapped in duct tape and a quid's worth of stamps.

And that's if some fucking imbecile doesn't 'snipe' you at the last second, willingly paying even more for something they don't want, just for the sad pleasure of 'winning'. Winning something, anything, for the first time in their sorry, empty lives.

And god forbid it goes wrong, and the crap doesn't appear: the judge and jury is ebay itself, who will take another 5 days to send you a standard email saying that unfortunately "in this case" they can't help you. In this case? You haven't even looked at 'this case', you idle, inept bunch of bastards.

Oh and they'll also inform you that the amount you've just been swindled out of is exactly 5p below the Paypal compensation threshold, so you can fuck off with that too.

So, no, eBay is not my fucking friend.


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9 comments:

Uncle Bob said...

Never had an issue with them myself. Though I did find driving 2 hours to Truro and trying to squeeze a full Marshall amp stack into my Peugeot 106 and then driving 2 hours back a bit of a pain in the arse. If you think they are bad, try fucking Amazon...now there's a mighty shower of shit. Slow, overpriced and awkward to deal with when they make a mistake.

the man who fell back to bed said...

hmm... never had a problem with either tbh. as for fakes, scams etc, the same thing applies as on the high street I find - if it looks too good to be true, it's because it is.

as for PC world, yes, the shop monkeys in there do seem for the most part to be particularly inept specimens of the breed but if you do your homework first and know what you're talking about anyway I find they're no worse than anywhere else on the high street.

the man who fell back to bed said...

as for bob - did it go up to eleven?

Anonymous said...

The man who fell to bed more or less summed it up in the same way I was going to. I've never had a problem with EBay- but then, I rarely buy stuff on there and only when it's not available/convenient to get from the high street. I bought some rare semi-collectable cutlery on behalf of my mum last month, and no problems were had.

The old yardstick can't be emphasised enough: If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. If it's a DVD box set of an entire TV series with 24 episodes on 3 discs for ten quid: Fake.

Dippyness. said...

Without naming names. I know for a fact some of the bidders on e-bay are fake.
The idea is you put an item on there & get "friends" to bid on it. This way the price goes up.
If at the end of the bidding, your "friend" has bought the item. No problem. You contact the next highest bidder with some excuse & sell the item to them.
Would I buy on e-bay? NO. Not that stupid.
Some are no doubt genuine, but I have no wish to take the chance. BTW. Contacted e-bay & yes they know it goes on, but no, they won't do anything about it. :(

Anonymous said...

Never mind e bay what about that cunt who was put in by this inept Government to run some motor company and spent the next few years employing some floosie he's been shagging and paying her £1.5 million in wages for fucks sake!

Now I've got that off my chest is anyone interested in buying an assortment of old subbuteo teams, some of the figures have not been glued in any way and they have those sticky numbers on their backs. £22.78 Postage and Packing and they are yours.

marksany said...

I've used eBay a lot for buying and selling for many years. I have bought a lot of bargains and made more on selling my stuff than I could through any other channel. I have had one problem in the 300 odd transachions I have made- better than either the real world or Amazon etc. In my experience eBay takes shill bidding very seriously, as it undermines the site exactly as you say. The Achilles heel is postage, it will often write off the saving compared to buying in a store, but you know the postage before you bid.

Malcolm Stevas said...

This is silly. Ebay is what you make of it - if you get ripped off it's almost certainly your own fault for not being careful. I've found it absolutely invaluable, both for selling stuff more easily (and for better money) than would have been possible elsewhere, and for finding obscure/rare stuff too.
As for the quibble by Dippyness, No! Good grief! Who'd have thought it... Er, exactly what difference do these false bids make? If something is overvalued or otherwise not a good buy, surely you don't buy it, no matter how many bids there are: if you do, it's your own fault for being so gullible and unwise.
I find Uncle Bob's whine about Amazon improbable too: Amazon has IME proved exceptionally efficient, speedy, and quick to resolve the very few minor problems I've had. Great business model, well deserved success.

Von Spreuth said...

try fucking Amazon...now there's a mighty shower of shit. Slow, overpriced

Huh? Obviously Amazon.uk is different to Germany, Niederlands and Austria. Never taken longer than 48 hours even when ordered on a Saturday night/Sunday morning.

Even when the actual goods are being sent from someone other than Amazon themselves, either another firm or a private seller, 48 to 36 hours, and my parcel is here.

Prices compare favourably with the shops. Some cheaper, some maybe a Euro or two more exepsive, but that is swings and roundabouts.

E-Bay I would not touch with a barge pole since I saw a "Genuine 1813 Pickehaub" for sale for €700+ Euro. The fact that Pickehaubs were not used by the Prussian army until 1870 + - a year or two, and the modern makers label could be seen on the photograph, did not appear to bother them at all.