They're a lot of cuts, aren't they Darling?


Oh Darling, you're going to have a busy week.

Now that his deranged, gibbering boss has finally been pushed onto the stage to admit that, yes, hmmm, aye, well, there might have to be some cuts after all, poor Alastair Darling has got to run from Government department to department, giving out the bad news, making sure that each Minister doesn't use the "everyone else, just not me" approach to budgetary restraint.

The whole exercise is pretty fucking futile anyway. Unless Madeleine McCann is discovered in a hidden cellar under CallMeDave's house on Christmas Day, these idiots aren't going to be calling the shots much longer. The only budgets most of these gimps will have to worry about in 2010 will be their own household budgets, sorely depleted by the loss of all that expenses gravy. Time to sell the flats we bought you, boys.

But anyway, let's fill in the time 'til next year by planning and budgeting. We might be able to staunch the raging torrents of money pouring down the toilet - every little helps. So, let's get cutting!

According to Nick Robinson, who's usually accurate -  not least because he takes his orders directly from My Lord High Mandelson - the Government are considering the idea that:

"the cabinet as a whole should agree where the spending axe should fall so that, as a previous chancellor once graphically put it, all get to dip their hands in the blood"

Blood? Jesus, are we being softened up here. A few days ago, there were no cuts. Only the Tories were making cuts. No Labour cuts. Now the Government, via the BBC, is leading us - slowly, gently - toward the truth: there's going to be 'blood'. The "axe begins to swing" says Robinson. These cuts will be savage. Who'd have thought? Who even knew there'd be cuts? Oh:

"This political process of identifying areas for cuts follows an exercise carried out by Treasury officials over the summer. What is called the public value programme examined the scope for savings in areas covering around a half of total government expenditure."

So, all summer long, while the 'Mr 10%' and the fucking ridiculous #weLoveTheNHS  campaigns were boring us to tears, people who really knew what was going on were planning real cuts.

Obviously Gordo' was completely, totally unaware of these presumably top-secret Treasury meetings, and was surprised as any of us to learn that he'd been lying through his fucking teeth. Imagine his disappointment on learning that he'd been totally misleading Parliament and the public for months.

But then, toward the end of Lickspittle Robinson's piece, we come to the real point of this exercise. Cutting to save money? Nah. Cutting because Labour think that..

"it is only when Labour has set out its spending priorities that the Conservatives will come under real pressure to spell out theirs"

Dear God. Give me fucking strength. You cannot leave it alone, Labour, can you? Nothing, but nothing, is worth doing in your tiny minds unless it somehow damages, discomfits or "pressures" the Tories.

McBroon and his acolytes are absolutely fucking obsessed. Rather than a Government, the Labour party have become the Opposition's Opposition.  Got any policies, Gordon? "Never mind that - would you just look at those evil Tories".


For fuck's sake. You've pissed all of our money - and more - up every available wall for years, as Labour governments inevitably do. The cupboard is bare, the pot is empty and the debt collector doesn't want any more blowjobs.  It's time to stop spending vast sums left, left and centre.

That's why you need to make cuts, you morons. Cuts to save our money, not cuts to spoil CallMeDave's breakfast.


_

11 comments:

Henry Crun said...

"The whole exercise is pretty fucking futile anyway. Unless Madeleine McCann is discovered in a hidden cellar under CallMeDave's house on Christmas Day..."

Do you think that the creepy looking bloke that the McCann's mates saw in Praia de Luz was Little Lord Fondleboy...I wouldn't put it past him/

Ollie Cromwell said...

You have a way with words. :-)

JuliaM said...

"McBroon and his acolytes are absolutely fucking obsessed. Rather than a Government, the Labour party have become the Opposition's Opposition. Got any policies, Gordon? "Never mind that - would you just look at those evil Tories"."

They remind me of some comic book superhero and his nemesis, scrapping it out in the streets of the metropolis while all around them, ordinary citizens are felled by stray laser beams and falling debris...

Uncle Bob said...

You've hit the nail on the head. They are more concerned with doing over the Tories than actually running the country properly. They're a fucking disgrace.

Ed P said...

Even this seemingly terminally incompetent government may be outwitting us with these games: no cuts, then minor cuts, now blood-letting. We're being "softened up".

The leaked documents, so inconvenient for GB, so helpful to the the ghastly hopefuls wanting to lead Liebour, could only have been copied by the Treasury's inner circle.

Darling's revenge?

Anonymous said...

OT, but I wonder where this is going to lead?

http://www.megrahimystory.net/

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Brown is reported to be calling on world leaders at next week’s G20 summit to agree “exit strategies” to cut public spending “together”. This is the same Gordon Brown who only recently insisted that more public money had to be pissed away and he specifically opposed the French and German governments for slamming on the brakes to save their economies. If Brown is suffering from a mental disorder, schizophrenia is my bet.

AndrewSouthLondon said...

Spot on CF. Its cultural for the Scots to hate the English, and the Tories - same thing to them in many cases. I'm currenty on my second Scottish wife (don't ask) and just mention "Tory" and its foaming at the gills with hatred. Four hundred years later and they still talk about what the English did to the Scots. They are worse than the Palestinians in playing "victim"

Getting the Scots and Labour out of our government is Englands new "common purpose"

SteveShark said...

The Madeleine McCann joke is worth the price of admission alone.

Excellent, succinct and accurate analysis of the cuts fiasco.

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