Now that his deranged, gibbering boss has finally been pushed onto the stage to admit that, yes, hmmm, aye, well, there might have to be some cuts after all, poor Alastair Darling has got to run from Government department to department, giving out the bad news, making sure that each Minister doesn't use the "everyone else, just not me" approach to budgetary restraint.
The whole exercise is pretty fucking futile anyway. Unless Madeleine McCann is discovered in a hidden cellar under CallMeDave's house on Christmas Day, these idiots aren't going to be calling the shots much longer. The only budgets most of these gimps will have to worry about in 2010 will be their own household budgets, sorely depleted by the loss of all that expenses gravy. Time to sell the flats we bought you, boys.
But anyway, let's fill in the time 'til next year by planning and budgeting. We might be able to staunch the raging torrents of money pouring down the toilet - every little helps. So, let's get cutting!
According to Nick Robinson, who's usually accurate - not least because he takes his orders directly from My Lord High Mandelson - the Government are considering the idea that:
"the cabinet as a whole should agree where the spending axe should fall so that, as a previous chancellor once graphically put it, all get to dip their hands in the blood"
Blood? Jesus, are we being softened up here. A few days ago, there were no cuts. Only the Tories were making cuts. No Labour cuts. Now the Government, via the BBC, is leading us - slowly, gently - toward the truth: there's going to be 'blood'. The "axe begins to swing" says Robinson. These cuts will be savage. Who'd have thought? Who even knew there'd be cuts? Oh:
"This political process of identifying areas for cuts follows an exercise carried out by Treasury officials over the summer. What is called the public value programme examined the scope for savings in areas covering around a half of total government expenditure."
So, all summer long, while the 'Mr 10%' and the fucking ridiculous #weLoveTheNHS campaigns were boring us to tears, people who really knew what was going on were planning real cuts.
Obviously Gordo' was completely, totally unaware of these presumably top-secret Treasury meetings, and was surprised as any of us to learn that he'd been lying through his fucking teeth. Imagine his disappointment on learning that he'd been totally misleading Parliament and the public for months.
But then, toward the end of Lickspittle Robinson's piece, we come to the real point of this exercise. Cutting to save money? Nah. Cutting because Labour think that..
"it is only when Labour has set out its spending priorities that the Conservatives will come under real pressure to spell out theirs"
Dear God. Give me fucking strength. You cannot leave it alone, Labour, can you? Nothing, but nothing, is worth doing in your tiny minds unless it somehow damages, discomfits or "pressures" the Tories.
McBroon and his acolytes are absolutely fucking obsessed. Rather than a Government, the Labour party have become the Opposition's Opposition. Got any policies, Gordon? "Never mind that - would you just look at those evil Tories".
For fuck's sake. You've pissed all of our money - and more - up every available wall for years, as Labour governments inevitably do. The cupboard is bare, the pot is empty and the debt collector doesn't want any more blowjobs. It's time to stop spending vast sums left, left and centre.
That's why you need to make cuts, you morons. Cuts to save our money, not cuts to spoil CallMeDave's breakfast.