Tough on crime? No, tough on YOU

Yet another nannying group of cretins has decided that we, the public, really don't know how to behave, and we need to be taught, to make us better citizens.

'Witness Confident' is a charity (well, of course it fucking well is) dedicated to

"addressing the dilemma as to how to get people to speak up when the interests of others (rather than their own) are at stake"

Yeah, that's what we all need. No moral fibre, most of us. Selfish and self-centred. Tut, tut, tut.

One thing we're apparently a bit naughty about is helping others when they're victims of street crime. Lord knows why, when we hear a bit of shouting on the High Street, we just won't make a snap judgment and wade on in.

Perhaps we foolishly listened to the Police, who have always firmly discouraged the "have a go hero" mentality, leading as it often does to extra victims.

But Witness Confident think we damn well should be diving in, getting involved. They want to

"challenge a "walk-on-by" culture to street crime."

Because they think (and, remember, Nanny always knows best):

"individuals should take greater steps to act if they witness a crime, particularly street violence."

Do you remember the pack of fucking lies that was the Labour 1997 manifesto? "Tough on Crime and tough on the causes of Crime". What the fuck happened to that then?

Instead of being tough on the causes of crime, it appears that we need to be tough on witnesses of crime, re-educating the cowardly public so that we can all help Plod to catch the muggers, bag-snatchers and ne'er do wells that infest our streets. So they can all be given a slapped wrist or a pointless ASBO.

So guess what Witless Confident are going to do? Oh, do give up, you never will. They're going to stage 'Mock muggings' across the UK,

"to test the public's willingness to aid victims and report crimes"

Oh, for fucks' sake. Mock fucking muggings? What could possibly go wrong there?

So, WC, you're going to get a couple of not-too-bright (and heavily insured) actors to mime a little street crime are you? Just so you can 'test' us? See how brave and altruistic we are?

And when the act has concluded, and the actors are congratulating each other - "no, no, you were marvellous, luvvie, simply marvellous" - and you have revealed the trick to the admiring onlookers?

What will you do then? Call the whole High Street together for feedback? Give us marks out of 10 for heroism? And what if we did "walk on by"? What then? Will you make us stay behind after shopping and write lines? Send a note to our parents, saying that we "could do better"?

Listen, you drivelling do-gooders; we don't need to be patronised, or shown how we 'should' behave. We don't need to be tricked into examining our motives. We don't need to be made into 'better citizens'. We need to be left the fuck alone.


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