Fuck, there's a lot of receipts hereGordon, you're too late: Yesterday you announced "independent scrutiny of allowances". Well, I've got news for you, dear. We're doing that already.
The claims are flooding into the public domain, limited only by the Daily Telegraphs greedy desire to make us buy their rag every bloody day for the rest of the decade (publishing "in the public interest"? Tell us the whole fucking lot then)
But even now, we've got plenty of information to judge you, troughers.
We're not going to do this in a cosy committee, stuffed with friends and fellow troughers, in a wood panelled room in Westminster - we're going to do this at home, in the pub, in the corridor at work. We know what each of you troughers took, and what you said it was for.
We know, and you know. You've claimed expenses that you know you shouldn't have claimed. Even if "everyone else was"; even if it was "within the rules". Remember what CF said in Pay It Back - A Campaign? It's worth repeating.
Make out a cheque and pay it back. Some of these cheques will be painfully large. You'll have to do what the rest of us do when we suddenly need a large amount of money: you might have to get a loan; you might perhaps re-mortgage one of your houses, or even - oh dear - sell one. You might have to trade down to a smaller car. Your partner might have to get a job. Tough shit.
When the cheque has cleared (not before - we don't trust you that much), announce to your constituents and to your local press (national press for Cabinet/Shadow Cabinet) exactly how much you paid back, how much you kept and what your reasons were.
Then we'll all know exactly what kind of an MP and person you are, how we feel about you specifically (rather than the troughing class as a whole) and whether we'll let you keep your job. The 'Court of Public Opinion', if you will.
Feel free to pay nothing back at all, as long as you're prepared to stand up in public and announce why you - you personally, not your party, not MP's generally - are not going to give a penny back. Feel free to pay it all back just for good publicity even though you secretly don't think you should - at least we'll have our money back. Pay back as little, or as much, as you're willing to justify personally.
For this to work, it has to be personal, individual. Us judging you. Not your party, the political class or the bloody Green Book: you.