Sweaty Balls

Rumours are swirling, whispers growing louder. Will Ed 'Blinky' Balls and Yvette 'Mrs Balls' Cooper be finally nailed for expenses fraud? They've got previous according to, well everybody. Even Wikipedia describes how they were:

"accused of "breaking the spirit of Commons rules" by using MPs' allowances to help pay for a £655,000 home in north London. It was alleged that they bought a four-bed house in North London, and registered this as their second home (rather than their home in West Yorkshire) in order to qualify for up to £44,000 a year to subsidise a reported £438,000 mortgage. This is despite both spouses working in London full-time and their children attending local London schools"

But they were only breaking the spirit (what the fuck?) so they were (probably) given a new hat each and their bus fare home, rather than a richly deserved kicking.

Earlier, in Balls in a Vice, CF fervently hoped that these smug gits would be brought to rights for their repeated double troughing:

Just have a closer look at their smug, well-fed faces. Just think of them relaxing between the silky sheets that we paid for, perhaps sipping some champagne from lead-crystal glasses that were deemed essential for 'entertaining'.

Gazing out over a well-kept garden, a small team toiling on the flower beds, happy in the knowledge that the faint noise in the background is the value of 'their' investments ticking steadily upwards. Revelling in the fact that two claimants can cover all the gaps, make sure nothing is accidentally - ugh - paid for.

We're all waiting, even the Balls themselves, although they appear to have been waiting this one out on the fucking moon, so complete has been their total disappearance. Dizzy Thinks it'll be soon:

"There seem to be rumours going around that the Telegraph expenses stories are going to wrap up shortly with the much expected "Couples" addition"

And yes, justice may be about to arrive (albeit years late). This evening, according to Old Holborn

"It is being reported that a high court injunction against them by a certain Mr Edward Ballsup and four Labour Ministers stopping publication of something or other has just been overturned"

Bet those Balls are pretty sweaty now.


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