That's probably enough, Gordon



There comes a time at every party when people begin to realise that there's someone there - usually a bloke - who's overstayed their welcome, who's been there just a bit too long. Oh dear. Look at him.


The party looks on aghast as the poor befuddled fool sways, belches, bumps into things, swears inappropriately, and repeats himself, increasingly tediously. Totally unaware of the disapproval surrounding him, he gets louder and louder, waving his hands and treading on people's toes.
 
He may have arrived full of promise, and been quite interesting, even entertaining, for a short time. But then he just overdid things, and now it’s late, and he's clearly over-tired and over-refreshed.

Before anyone can stop him, the grinning idiot will stagger up to the most attractive person in the room - the one he spilt red wine on two hours ago - and, forgetting he spoke to them earlier, pathetically attempt to chat them up."Hellllllloo! Wha's your name, then?"

When politely rebuffed, he will be baffled and annoyed "Why don' you wanna talk to me? Eh? Eh? Wha's the madder? Not good enough for you? Eh? Stug up bish".

Any minute now, he's going to get aggressive, pick a fight with the biggest bloke in the room, and get pushed into a table of drinks. Then fall asleep on a sofa. Then piss himself.

He's embarrassing himself, and he's embarrassing everyone else at the party. People stare at the floor, or into their drinks, and just wish this idiot would go away.
 
Gordon Brown? That's you, that is.

Do you have any idea how most people in Britain feel, to see you pathetically trying to chat up that bloke you seem infatuated with? Just when we thought we couldn't be embarrassed on the international stage any more.

Gordon, Obama is very nice, we agree. We know you like him, yes. But he doesn't want to talk to you now. You're a bit tired, and you're not making a lot of sense. And he's still a bit cross about what you did earlier. Come away. Perhaps you can talk to him another time. No, no, come away.

Do you not feel very well? Oh dear. Why don't you go and have a nice, long lie down, eh? You'll feel so much better.

And so will we. Has he gone? Phew.

_

9 comments:

Captain Haddock said...

Unfortunately, the fool is so deluded that every call for him to go simply reinforces his own self-belief that he is right ..

He will not go voluntarily, he will cling to power until the bitter end .. not caring one iota about the damage he causes ..

Henry Crun said...

Gordon Brown, the Frank Gallagher of international politics.

Anonymous said...

From the BBC news page - "But of course we're meeting all the time. We're both involved in all the main meetings and talk all the time." Er...all 20 of them are involved in the meetings and therefore meeting and talking all the time...

But I LOVED - "No 10 said they had a wide-ranging chat after a UN dinner.....understood to have taken place in the UN's kitchens." Says it all!

patently said...

...Constantly Furious puts it wonderfully - Gordon is the sad old bloke in the corner who no-one wants to talk to...

killemallletgodsortemout said...

The sad, one-eyed scotch git is going down like a burning Heinkel in the US.

I think this may have something to do with the release of the Lockerbie bomber.

Captain Haddock said...

Sorry henry ..

I reckon he's more the "Frank Spencer" of international politics ..

But without the naive, boyish charm ..

Anonymous said...

The pissed up drunk you described would still have run the economy better than this clown. I mean even someone who hasnt a clue wouldve made a better job. Gordons running of the economy was beyond not having a clue I mean how many billion or is it trillion in debt do we need to be before someone says enough is enough.

Gigits said...

That is bloody hilarious, CF!

Barking Spider said...

That is so spot on and very funny, CF.