++ Breaking ++ : Labour admit "We're out of ideas"


Labour and Labour activists have kept campaigning, kept promoting the party, in the face of overwhelming odds, and confronted by repeatedly awful polls.

They've tried the traditional channels, they've tried the new channels: Facebook, mySpace, Twitter - dear God, the fucking endless Twittering - but all to no avail.

But you could almost - almost - admire their pig-headed refusal to give up; their increasingly desperate attempts. Until now.

AA Gill, the journalist and restaurant critic, wrote a typically amusing piece for the Sunday Times this weekend, which included a description of how he'd - while in Africa - shot a wild baboon.

Naturally, a huge contingent of weeping bunny huggers have railed against the horror of this act, and yet another fucking vast Twitter witch-hunt has begun. This time the tag is not #janmoir - Twitter 'got' her - but #aagill. Yeah, Gill, you're next.

Although quite what the assorted greenies, veggies and conservation-nuts actually want to happen is not clear. Perhaps for the baboon to roll away the stone and ascend, shining, to the skies? Or perhaps just for AA Gill to ritually eviscerate himself on the fourth plinth. Who knows? Who cares?

In their quiet desperation, Labour activists have noted the popularity of the campaign and, with memories of the #weLoveTheNHS bandwagon still in their minds, leapt into action.

The person who pretends to be John 'never touched a computah' Prescott tweeted:

"#AAGill is a writer. Couldn't he use his IMAGINATION? E.g. I've never punched the twit but I IMAGINE it would feel pretty damn good!"

Then the #1 mindless pro-Labour twitterer activist, @bevanitteellie, joined the fray:

"I wonder what it would be like to shoot a bloodthirsty, savage restaurant critic... #AAGill"

What the fuck? New Labour, the Friends of the Baboon? #weLoveTheBaboon? Vote Labour: tough on monkey shooting, tough on the documenters of monkey shooting?

But then it all became clear where this was headed, where Labour activists wanted to go. This 'tweet' , from 'julianswainson', but enthusiastically repeated by other activists, fucking says it all:

"Remember - killing animals just for fun is what a Tory government under Cameron wants to introduce again. #aagill"

Oh for fuck's sake. Oh dear. Oh dear oh fucking dear.

Let's face it, Labour, if that's the best you can do...

..you're fucked.

_

14 comments:

Captain Haddock said...

CF ..

Is that a photo of our "Beloved" Leader .. wearing a pair of leather chaps ?

Anonymous said...

Heres an idead for the useless incompetent fuckers, how about prosecuting and Jailing Bent, thieving Politicians !!!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha, oh wow.

The words 'grasping' and 'straws' come to mind.

As does the word 'cunts'.

Edgar said...

I don't know whether I hate Socialists more than you do, or not: but I'm with the babboon, here. Who knows? Maybe we could learn something about living together from baboons ... we already know how to shoot them.

S. Weasel said...

To hell with it -- monkeys are creepy. I'm contemplating a run on the platform Shoot All The Damn Monkeys. Right now.

Poo-flinging bastards.

Henry Crun said...

If Bulimic John is so concerned about baboons, why doesn't he nip over to Whipsnade and go and hug one. I'd pay good money to watch a Chacma rip the face off that fat fucker.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Isn't Bulimic John a baboon anyway?

Anonymous said...

But they have had a new idea: they can claim allowances if they live more than 60 minutes from the HoC (walking backwards with a sack of coal down their trousers, a lump of rock in each shoe, and two railway sleepers beneath each arm?)

Sorted. Voting Labour.

Shit! Where's that bloody Prozac...

Rob Farrington said...

I hate baboons - they're the chavs of the primate world.

Shooting's too good for 'em, I say.

banned said...

Some twat on BBC Radio 2 yesterday afternoon saying that he's a professional hunter and that he kills baboons if they are being pests, if he wants to eat them and some other reason and that's ok but what AA Gill did was really horrid and wicked because baboons are really very like us ( unless you want eat them perhaps ? )... I had to switch it off.

Jill said...

Yes, but AA Gill is a complete tosser, non?

David Gillies said...

Baboons are horrible bloody creatures and merit shooting without a second's consideration. Malevolent shits, the whole lot of 'em. Gill goes up in my estimation (albeit from a pretty low standpoint, because he is, in many, many ways, a complete cunt.)

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