The last post?


Postman Pat and his chums, the Royal Mail's postal workers, have voted, three to one in favour, to take strike action over those old chestnuts  'job security' and 'working conditions'.

The first one of these - job security - is always most amusing. Unions always seem to think that they can best enhance their members' job security by encouraging them to .. err .. not do their jobs for a while. Way to go, fuckwits. That's how to prove how absolutely essential you are: just don't turn up for work.

Already, Amazon, who send out quite a lot of parcels every day, have decided that they'll ask someone else to do the tricky business of delivering them to the customers' houses in the same fucking year as the original order took place.

Dave Ward, deputy general secretary of the CWU, said 'his' Union would give the Royal Mail a "final opportunity" to resolve the dispute over the next 10 days. Ooooohhhhh, get him. Yeah, Royal Mail, its your last chance now.

He added that 'his' members had delivered a "damning verdict on the way the Royal Mail is run. We understand the need for modernisation, but it needs to be done in a way that protects workers"

Protects them from what? From dogs? From rain? Nah. Protects them from working any harder than they want to, more like. Or protects them from losing their jobs, even if their jobs are totally unecessary, because somebody else delivers Amazon's books now.

Dave's not having that. No, no. Something must be done:

"If we don't take a stand now, postal services in the UK will be destroyed forever," he said.

Hang on. Hang the fuck on there, Dave. So, you're saying that if you don't "take a stand" and you don't deliberately fail to deliver a load of post then the service you offer - delivering a load of post - might be 'destroyed forever'? What? What kind of fucking bizarre, Alice-in-wonderland, shit is that?

Just take the fucking letters out of the sack, and put them through the holes in the doors, right?


_

9 comments:

Mark Reckons said...

That's one of the funniest endings to a blog post I have ever seen!

JuliaM said...

"...it needs to be done in a way that protects workers" Protects them from what? From dogs?"

From cats, actually...

Captain Haddock said...

Much as I instinctively dislike and distrust Trade Unions ..

I have to offer a morsel of praise for the Royal Mail .. At 10.00 yesterday, I ordered an item by telephone from a firm in Cumbria and was advised that I'd "have it within a week" ..

Imagine my surprise & delight when it landed on the doormat at 10.05 this morning ..

Anonymous said...

It's like being in a time machine sometimes listening to some of these union leaders. It's like being in the seventies again. No one is indispensible these days.

SteveShark said...

Quite.

As long as I get my post within a reasonable time at a reasonable cost and on a regular fucking basis then I really don't give a shit who sticks it through my letters hole.

Who knows - if someone else got what would have to be one of the most lucrative contracts then it might even be cheaper and more efficient?


I know, let's find out no matter what happens.

PS - you can tell it's coming up to Xmas here in Milton Keynes: not by the mince fucking pies in the shops but by reports of a threatened December postal delivery strike in the local paper.

banned said...

The Post Office can fuck off and die ever since it cancelled the 'first class' early AM delivery but carried on charging first class for late morning ( ie evening for those few of us who work for a living ).
It might have redeemed itself if it had allowed me to nominate my local sub-post office as a collection-by-me option for parcels but no, I have to traipse into the city centre to a place with no parking to collect undelivered parels ( ie Amazon ).

Roll on TNT or whoever as an alternate deliverer, at least I can park in their depot.

caesars wife said...

With companies like DHL and FedEx now established (under labour) you would have thought it wouldnt be the best time to strike , i mean at least get christmas over and done with

Anonymous said...

Too much is made of the postal service in this country (mainly by the Unions it has to be said) and they always in every interview ad naseaum 'small businesses waiting on cheques'. I own a small business and I do all my banking online. Maybe I'm one of the lucky few.

On the other side of the coin is household mail. I don't ever receive anything that can't wait a few days. It may irritate me but it's neither here nor there if my shiny new toy arrives next Thursday rather than Monday.

Had to laugh at one union guy the other day on the radio going about, inevitably, pensions. He was saying how it was unfair their pensions were being attacked and one caller was saying how it's unfair he has to pay 90% of this guys pension and the union man just kept on repeating mantra-like 'But I've been paying my share for x years, it's only fair you stand up to your side of the bargain and pay the other 90% I'm entitled to'.

And these clowns believe the public are behind them in their strike.

Roll on privitisation!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

I wonder how many people give Christmas boxes to their pikey dustmen or dinosaur postmen these days. Fuck 'em.