So why on earth did we vote for him? Oh no, wait, we didn't, did we?
He was chosen unanimously by the governments of the EU's member states to be the first permanent European Council president.
The same governments that fiddled or - like the UK - even prevented the various referendums that would have been our only chance to stop the Lisbon Treaty that created his new role.
So, now we've got him, like it or not. Unelected, but 'appointed'. At least he matches our own unelected Prime Minister, in both charisma and votes won. They're two of a kind, really.
Nigel Farage, former leader of UKIP, definitely does not like it, and yesterday he shared his views with the world.
Even though he and his party are vehemently anti-EU, Farage has managed to get himself elected as an MEP, so he is perfectly entitled to go to Brussels, get up on his hind legs and tell us exactly what he thinks of the whole tedious, statist charade.
Nige' started with that most British of disclaimers, "I don't want to be rude but..", and then proceeded to be lavishly, extravagantly rude to the poor little mouse.
As strong men blanched, and women fainted clean away, Farage informed Van Rompuy that he
"..possessed all the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk".
But the problem is, he's not a low-grade bank clerk. He's King of the EU. We've been told so. Farage continued:
"We were told that when we had a president, we'd see a giant global political figure, a man who would be the political leader for 500 million people, the man that would represent all of us all of us on the world stage, the man whose job was so important that of course you're paid more than President Obama."
True. Remember when we though it might have been Tony B-Liar in the hot seat? How worried we were, and how unjust a reward that would have been for that slippery bastard.
"Well, I'm afraid what we got was you... the question I want to ask is: who are you? - I'd never heard of you, nobody in Europe had ever heard of you."
Beyond the insults, Farage is worried that this man is not as harmless as he might look:
"I have no doubt that your intention is to be the quiet assassin of European democracy and of European nation states," he said. You seem to have a loathing for the very concept of the existence of nation states."
Yup. That's what the EU's all about, as Nigel knows. And that's what we should all be worried about.
But what a shame that this pointed, accurate criticism comes from a man from a fringe party, with an repuation for being, as the BBC put it, 'outspoken'. A bit of a nutter, in other words.
What a pity it wasn't Dan 'the Man' Hannan or even better, CallMeDave himself, saying such things.
Now that would have been a reason to vote Conservative.