Brown's Thatcher moment?

The natives are restless. Those South American natives, that is. They're angry about those islands that they think are called Las Malvinas, but we know are called The Falklands.

They've all got together to protest about the UK's drilling for oil just off the Falkland Islands, that windswept patch of nothing that over 250 British troops died to defend.

A patch of nothing that - ooh, gosh - turns out to be sitting near some oil reserves.

So shut it, you foreign nonces - God gave Britain the Falklands hundreds of years ago, especially for keeping sheep and penguins on. If there just happens to be a little bit of oil nearby, why then that's a lovely little bonus.

But they're not 'avin it. The Argentine president has accused the British government of 'ignoring international law' by allowing a British oil exploration company to begin drilling near the islands.

Well, you're wasting your time with that line of attack, love. We're very fucking comfortable ignoring International Law. Good ol' Dubya taught Tony, and Tony taught Mandy, and Mandy taught the rest of the Government.

But the head of the Argies has friends, who agree with her. They all got together, had a little meeting and decided that the UK must stop. She states:

"..the important thing is that we have achieved very strong support, something that legitimates our claims fundamentally against the new petroleum activity."

Red Ken's best mate, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, is one of her allies:

"We demand, and I think all of us should do the same, the withdrawal of the submarine platform, and that the English government... give that land back,"

Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega is another, calling for..

"Britain to return the territory of the Malvinas to its real owners - to return it to Argentina"

Apparently, not only Latin American leaders but Caribbean leaders have backed Argentina's claim over the Falklands. What? Caribbean leaders? What the flying fuck has it got to do with them? Are Antiguan aircraft carriers heading south even as we speak? Is the St Lucian airforce dusting off its MiGs, ready to unleash rum punch flavoured excocets?

But, regardless, we're not scared. Defence Minister Bill 'Who?' Rammell said the government had a "legitimate right" to build an oil industry in its waters. He added, doubtless frowning menacingly, that..

"..the UK government would take whatever steps necessary to protect the Falklands"

Yeah! That's fightin' talk. We're going to defend our sheep and our 'phone boxes to the death, you bunch of jumped-up dagoes!

So what will Gordon 'Mr Decisive' Brown do? Will he follow Thatcher's example? Go to war in a far-off land to reinforce a claim on a small part of the empire?

Nah. That ain't gonna happen. In every way you could think of, Broon is not fit to clean Maggie's stilettos.

As with any development, unless Gordon or his minders can work out a way of using this situation to somehow make the Tories look bad, or raise a couple of billion in tax, the whole issue will be completely ignored, sidelined.

Brown will bottle this, like he bottles every-fucking-thing.

Expect to see bewildered oil rig workers, in handcuffs, in Buenos Aires real soon now.

.

17 comments:

JuliaM said...

"As with any development, unless Gordon or his minders can work out a way of using this situation to somehow make the Tories look bad, or raise a couple of billion in tax, the whole issue will be completely ignored, sidelined.

Brown will bottle this, like he bottles every-fucking-thing."


Spot on.

But then, even if he did suddenly discover some backbone, we no longer have the manpower and equipment to do anything about it anyway, do we?

Cold Steel Rain said...

The Paras, Marines & Infantry are now battle hardened, whereas in 1982 they were simply motivated.

Argentina would be foolish to attempt to take the Islands by force again.

It would be much easier to get pally with Red Ken and chums and before you know it NuLabour will sign over the land and rewrite history penning us as the aggressor in 82'

Costello said...

But then, even if he did suddenly discover some backbone, we no longer have the manpower and equipment to do anything about it anyway, do we?

Indeed. The Royal Navy was far more powerful in 82 than it is now. There is no chance in hell that we could muster a task force comparable to what we had back then.

The Paras, Marines & Infantry are now battle hardened, whereas in 1982 they were simply motivated.

Certainly true but unfortunately the Navy which would have to get them there and participate in fighting is a shadow of what it was.

Anonymous said...

Our sub marines are out there stalking the seas like wolves.

They know this which is why they'll do fuck all.

Much better for them to sit down round the table with us, they could share in any potential bonanza, their close proximity means they'd be ideally placed for any drilling support industries, shipyards, repairs, victualing, refining etc.

P.S. That Hugo Chaves prick really does need taking down a peg or ten.

Captain Haddock said...

Maggie (God bless her) had bigger balls than McSnot will ever have ..

Had Labour been in charge then, we'd all be speaking Spanish & driving on the wrong side by now ..

Thanks for that marvellous photo CF .. The RM Signaller pictured is immortalised in a life-sized bronze statue outside the Royal Marines Museum, in Eastney, Hants .. and is known as The "Yomper" ..

Neither should his, typical "Bootneck" humour be forgotten in the signal which he sent .. saying simply .. "End-Ex" (End of Exercise) ..

Anonymous said...

"Argentina would be foolish to attempt to take the Islands by force again."

Foolish, possibly, but also successful.

We don't have the money, the men, the materiel, the ships, the leadership, or the American goodwill, to do anything about it whatever.

Submarines? Yeah, they'll sit there and watch, just like our people in the Gulf do when British yachtsmen get kidnapped by Islamo-nutjobs. Their terms of engagement will ensure that. Do you think Broon's going to risk another Belgrano? Given what the EU and the UN would say? No chance.

Sorry to say it, but the Falklanders are on their own this time.

CF is right.

Uncle Marvo said...

I suppose he could go and give them a good old bullying?

CrazyDaisy said...

Gentlemen,

The drilling rig is actually American and has several nationalities onboard it carrying out the exploratory work.

The UK is standing by to protect the Falklands. Argentina has no credible armed forces and the rest of the fuckwits in SA are just sabre rattling.

Do keep your cool and let it play out.

CD

Bill d'Sarse said...

He sell it.

Lock, stock and barrel(s of oil - lots of them).

Nice way to reduce the country's debts.

matthew hopkins said...

Whilst I applaud the stiff upper lip approach we do nothing at our, and our dependencies peril.

In 81/82 we had a right wing government in Argentina desperate to misdirect attention from a floundering economy and political woes whose attention was caught by the John Knott defence review which proposed to cut amphibious and seabourne airpower capabilities from HM Forces, this combined with the planned retirement of the Ice Patrol vessel lead them to conclude we would not support 2000 or so inhabitants of insignificant islands 8000 miles away...
...and this time...

Mark said...

In 1982, Argentina walked into undefended islands and the last thing they expected was a fight.

Let's keep a sense of perspective here. The Falklands has a garrison. It's hardly Iwo Jima, but its being threatened by Argentina, not the whole US marine corps.

The large airfield built since allows rapid reinforcement by air. A squadron of Typhoons could pronbaly be there within a day, which would probably be enough.

Its Argentina that would need the amphibious capabilities and seaborne air power.

Let them yap!

The Young Oligarch said...

I think the Caribbean countries involved will probably be those who speak Spanish , rather than have HM as Head of State .

There was a distinct lack of black faces in the photo call .

Castro , Chavez and their mates , basically .

John East said...

All the Argies need to do this time is to land on the beaches and demend their human rights, a council house, and dole money for life.

It can't fail.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Fortunately the Prime Mentalist will not be around long enough to try and use any aggressive posturing as a popularity booster before the election.

O/T I am doing a Guido's PMQs Live Chat highlights on my blog weekly, condensing highlights of the funnies out of the chaos here

Anonymous said...

Even as we read this blog, McSnot is writing & re-writing a note to the Argies saying that of course the Falklands is theirs - that's the sort of traitorous c*** Bottler Brown is - born a devout coward & never found any reason to change.
He will dump the Islanders without a second thought - after all, they're white & unlikely to be Labour supporters.

tris said...

Give it back to them. It's theirs. You want the Argies to ahve the Isle of Wight?

Anonymous said...

Hillary Clinton thinks we should negotiate with them. If you think we can disagree with the American view for long well, as they over that side of the pond...

"Good luck with that.."