TrEU Colours?

It cannot be said often enough that not everybody who voted Leave in the recent referendum - remember it? - did so purely because they wanted all immigrants to be driven into the sea "first thing Friday morning".

No. Some - CF included - voted to get out of a massive, and failing, political project, which had already constructed a vast and anti-democratic superstate.

And the beneficiaries of that Superstate are mightily pissed off. They can't believe the cheek of us, the little people. "Oi! Where do you think you're going? Come back here at once"

Martin Schulz, the president of the European parliament, is particularly enraged at our temerity:

"The British have violated the rules. It is not the EU philosophy that the crowd can decide its fate.."

Is that so? Really?

In which case, this 'crowd' probably made the right choice ....


Kicked out of Europe

"What we need.." said the senior representative of the Political Class ".. is a massive distraction. Huge. Something to take the great unwashed's attention away from bloody Brexit, give us time to smooth things over, kick things into the long grass for a bit.

Other than pies and racism, what else do they like?"

"Well, sir .." blurted the eager junior ".. they like X-Factor, and Big Brother .. oh, and Football"

"Football? Really? I thought we weren't very good at football? We're much better at Rugby, not bad at Cricket these days either. Why don't they like that?"

"Well, sir, I don't know. But they love football. Can't get enough of it. Spend a lot of the little money they have on Sky TV to watch the games, and on buying the same shirts as the players wear. Spend a lot of their time talking about how the England team are doing, and what they should do next"

"Really? Oh well, perhaps we should have the England team do something really spectacular, really memorable, to give them something to talk about in their pubs and clubs. Look into it, would you?"

"Certainly, Sir. I'll speak to the right people, and make they do something so memorable that the man in the street talks of nothing else. That'll get us off the front page of the tabloids, Sir!"

Market Intelligence

Noooooooo!! George was right! Arrrrghhhhh!! We should have listened to him!

"The FTSE 100 is being routed AGAIN" shrieks the Gruaniad.

Yes, apparently ..

"Shares are hitting fresh lows after another wild morning in the markets.
The FTSE 100 index of major blue-chip companies is now down 100 points, a loss of 1.6%. That follows a 199-point tumble on Friday."

Well, yeah, that's true. And probably a fair reflection of the uncertainty generated by all of the political fuckwittery occupying the airwaves day 'n' night.

But hang on just a moment. When CF last looked (which was about 15 minutes ago) the FTSE 100 stood at 6,018 - so yeah, well down from the 6,338 it closed at on the 23rd, that Golden Era when we all believed we'd be happy Europeans for ever, and when you didn't need a passport to ride on the bus*

You know what? If it falls much further, the index might be as low, as desolate, as routed as it was two weeks ago. That's right. On the Tuesday two weeks ago, the FTSE 1000 stood at a mighty, pre-Brexit 5,923.  

Oh, to return to those heady days of endless optimism, eh? Before the racists stole our futures?

For fucks sake ...

* (hat-tip to The Daily Mash for that)

Think of the Children ..

Much, much anguish from the yoot following the referendum. 

Those wicked old people, with all their experience of the EU, and all of their wisdom, somehow conspired to vote the nation out of Europe, even though thats not what we, the yoot, really wanted.

And shouldn't the yoot always get what they want? 

But wait, hang on, look at the papers, what's this?

Ah. "..result would have been different.."? Oh. It seems that, perhaps, if you'd actually bothered to trot along to the village hall, pick up a old-school style 'pencil' and express your views at the ballot box, guys, rather than thumbing it into WhatsApp, things might have been a little bit different. 

So actually, little ones, we didn't 'steal' your future, did we? No. You got pissed, left it on the night bus and slept through your alarm.


Word of the day

Hello boys and girls!

Today's Word of the Day is 'Bigot'

  1. a person who is intolerant towards those holding different opinions.

You might have noticed recently that anyone who, for whatever reason, failed to vote 'Remain' has been - universally and endlessly - termed a 'Bigot' by those who did.

As the great Alanis Morissette said ...


We were warned, weren't we, that there would be huge devaluation in the event of #Brexit?

And boy, were 'they' right. There has been a devaluation. A ma-hoo-sive devaluation .. of the English language. Great swathes of words that used to mean something, suddenly worth less; devalued, cheapened by the weeping Remainers.

"I'm terrified.." ..  Really? Nah. People cowering in basements while their town is being bombed are 'terrified'. Those poor fuckers in the toilets at the Bataclan were 'terrified'.  You? You're just 'worried'. Alright, possibly 'very worried'. But terrified? Get real.

"I'm devastated.." ..  Don't think so. Someone who's just had a late-stage cancer diagnosis is 'devastated'. Jo Cox's poor husband is - presumably - devastated. You? You're just pissed off.

".. the worst day of my life.."  Oh, for fucks sake. Really? Really? The worst day? If that really is the case, then you've had a pretty fucking great life so far. There are hundreds, thousands, millions of people who'd be fucking delighted to have the Western, civilised, Starbucks, Grauniad-informed, "worst" day you've just suffered.

The bitch is back

Friday 24th March 2016

Jeez, what a heaving, writhing, monstrous fucking mess. What a brass-bound, ocean-going clusterfuck. What a festival of arse.

See the politicians, the media and the bien pensants floundering, utterly astonished that we didn't do what they told us to.

See Facebook and Twitter going into meltdown, with thousands of "terrified" people having "the worst day of my life".

To paraphrase Batman: "Somewhere, stupidity is happening".

One feels, dear reader, the need to put virtual pen to virtual paper over the coming weeks. Repeatedly.

Watch this space...