The bitch is back

A sharp intake of breath across the land this morning, from those of every political persuasion, with the news that Labour's election campaign will be joined by Mr Anthony Charles Lynton Blair.

What? What the fuck? Tony Blair?

Would this be the same Tony Blair who, at the height of the frenzied bashing of the banks, when financial institutions are being scapegoated for everything from the melting glaciers to the loss of the Titanic, has decided to take on a job with one of the hedge funds that profited enormously from the crash? That Tony Blair?

Is this the same Tony Blair who, in spite of owning properties all over the world and being worth millions following a career in which he achieved, built or created precisely fuck all  has negotiated a deal with that hedge fund that pays him £2,000 per minute? That greedy, greedy Tony Blair?

Are we talking about the same Tony Blair who was widely believed to be the weakest, most self-serving Prime Minister this country had ever had, until his grotesquely incompetent successor proved that it was possible to do even worse?

The Blair who dragged the entire political class down into the mire of spin, smear, evasion and outright lies? That Tony B-liar?

Would it, perhaps, be the Tony Blair who is - later this week - due to appear in front of the latest enquiry into the war in Iraq, a war which we are repeatedly informed was entirely his decision, and which was very probably totally illegal? A man who thousands of bereaved families have to blame for their losses, in an unnecessary and unauthorised invasion??

Apparently, yes, it is him. The very same. The Lord High Mandelson has confirmed it.

Lord Mandelson has decided that Teflon Tony is to be among several high-profile figures who will..

"..join Gordon Brown on the campaign trail. They know as well as everyone what is at stake for the country.

Everyone will get stuck in. Everyone will campaign: Tony Blair, John Prescott, David Blunkett. We need the support of these well-known faces."

No, Manders, you need a fucking miracle of beyond Biblical proportions, love.

But Mandlebum doesn't see it that way: he believes (or says he believes, which with him is totally different) that the election could be similar to the 1992 vote, when then Prime Minister John Major clung to power despite polls' predictions of a Labour win. Yeah, yeah.

Do you really, really believe this bollocks, Foy Boy? And do you really think we're going to swallow it?

The B-liar is going to come back, we're going to welcome him with open arms and then Labour are going to cling on to power, eh?

Just how fucking stupid do you think we are, Mandy?

.