Bloody cyclists


Rejoice. Just rejoice.

According to the Evening Standard, from now on cyclists - bless 'em - are to be allowed to ignore one-way streets. Yes, you heard right.

They can just zip up and down them in whatever direction takes their fancy.

Funny. CF was under the impression that even prior to this joyous new dawn, most cyclists did pretty much what the fuck they wanted anyway.

Living in Cambridge, and working in London, CF has ample opportunity to see many, many, cyclists in action every day, and their fuckwittery frequently beggars belief.

Cycling on the pavement, cycling across zebra crossings, cycling in the gutter on the wrong side of the road, cycling the wrong way around roundabouts, and doing all of the above after dark without lights.

That's just an average day for some of these death-wish imbeciles. Going the wrong way down a one street is trivial by comparison.

The only time you'll find a cyclist traveling down the correct side of the road, following the flow of traffic, is when they're studiously avoiding the vast, wide, dedicated fucking cycle path just beside that stretch road. No, CF doesn't know either.

So now, we're giving them the right to ignore traffic signs. Dear God.

How will we tell the difference, as they bounce off our bonnets?

_

12 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

About three stone ago, I used to cycle to work. In all weathers. And I used to always obey the rules of the road. Because I didn't want to be mown down by a car driver.

It's simple really. The Darwin theory will sort 'em out eventually.

JuliaM said...

And is this goinG to be repealed when (if) we adopt the continental approach of 'bigger vehicle is to blame
regardless', I wonder..?

microdave said...

@ JuliaM - of course not! It's probably all part of a nationwide traffic calming plan. Get motorists so scared of being fined that they all crawl along at 10mph.

If you think I'm being cynical, there have been many complaints about parking on a busy road near me. But strangely the Highway Authority won't introduce restrictions, because the current situation is slowing the traffic down....

Anonymous said...

The cunts are a pain in the arse cycling to work in the dark as well. To be fair though some thoughtfully have lights.

Captain Haddock said...

Having just spent a week near Cambridge, looking after my G/Friend (who's been in hospital) & having been into the City Centre a number of times, I know just what you mean CF ..

Still, as "Rab" says .. Darwin rules .. and I drive a 4 x 4 .. PMSL

Martin said...

I am a cyclist. I have cycled to work for over 20 years. I obey the highway code. I don't ride on the pavement. I stop at red lights and zebra crossings.

In London, where I do most of my cycling, there are, of course, cyclists who don't obey the highway code. I don't appreciate being lumped in with them and tarred with the same brush.

In defense of cyclists in general I would say the majority do obey the highway code. I would certainly say that the standard of cycling in London is no worse than the standard of driving.

Having said all that, I also question the wisdom of allowing cyclists to go the wrong way down one way streets.

Anonymous said...

There is a chronic shortage of spare parts, maybe this is an initiative to tacle the problem.

Mr Wallis said...

Unfortunately when you spend time in an area where students may be, you will encounter idiot cyclists. Unfortunately I am one of those. At uni I do not follow the highway code when riding my bike, yet I do not endanger others or do anything that would make a driver have to take action to avoid me etc.

Cycling is such an excellent way to get around, but if I had to act as if I was a car I would walk instead, wasting my life (why walk when you can cycle 4x as fast?).

Captain Haddock said...

Martin & Mr Wallis ..

I accept & appreciate that you're both responsible cyclists with a realistic approach to road sense ..

However, I must say that the abysmal standard of cycle use in Cambridge extends well beyond the students .. you are just as likely to be mown down (in pedestrianised areas) by an elderly lady as by a youngster ..

They seem either not to care .. or to assume that the City's streets are "theirs" to do with as they like & devil take the hindmost ..

I think its high time that Cyclists were obliged to pass a Test, required to have Third Party Liability insurance & their cycles be subject to an annual Safety Test ..

I can foresee that this ludicrous plan will merely result in A&E Departments nationwide being swamped with badly injured cyclists ..

Martin said...

Thank for acknowledging that there are responsible cyclists (unfortunately that sounds like a sarcastic comment - it's not intended as such).

I'm surprised that you advocate a compulsory test for cyclists and a compulsory annual safety test for bicycles. I would have thought that this is just the kind of quangoid government action that you deplore. It's also an example of the stupid government tendency to create new laws and regulations rather than enforcing the existing ones.

Beside that these two measures would not be effective. Those cyclists who don't obey the highway code don't do so because of ignorance, so a test won't change their behaviour. And an ill-maintained bicycle can become unsafe in a much shorter period than a year, so an annual safety test won't do much good either.

I'm not against compulsory third party insurance. I have such insurance myself (through membership of the CTC), as do any cyclists who are members of national cycling organisations - such insurance normally is provided as part of the membership package. But with close to an estimated 2 million uninsured car drivers on the road, I don't think such a rule will be enforced very well.

I don't disagree that there is a problem with a minority of cyclists. But I don't think the measures you propose will do anything to solve the problem.

giles said...

Good to know that not only is cycling lowering my blood pressure but it's also having the opposite effect on the car drivers.

Chances are unless he mows me down I will outlast the infuriated SUV driver gunning his engine behind me cos he can't get past me at some traffic lights :) :)

giles said...

As for 20 MPH speed limits in cities - bring it on. Then you guys can get even more pissed off when I overtake you and run through the speed cameras without setting them off.