CF has just emerged from several days of complete immersion in turkey, cheap sparkling wine and other people's tediously over-excited children. Ugh.
Internet access has been forbidden, and shops selling newspapers have opened and closed seemingly at random, so the news blackout has been complete.
So, what's been going on, people? All CF has is rumours and hearsay.
Was there really another 9/11 attack, only this time confined to one man's trousers?
Can security at airports really be made any more intrusive and time-consuming without it being quicker to to fucking walk?
Have the Chinese really killed a British citizen - after many months of imprisonment- without Gordon "I even have an opinion on X factor" Brown saying anything until after the event?
Has the External Auditor on the Members Estimates Audit Committee gone for a walk in woods and come back dead? Really?
Is global warming still a major issue, given that the streets have been covered in ice for nearly two bloody weeks?
What else has CF missed?
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