Wassup?




CF has just emerged from several days of complete immersion in turkey, cheap sparkling wine and other people's tediously over-excited children. Ugh.

Internet access has been forbidden, and shops selling newspapers have opened and closed seemingly at random, so the news blackout has been complete.

So, what's been going on, people? All CF has is rumours and hearsay.

Was there really another 9/11 attack, only this time confined to one man's trousers?

Can security at airports really be made any more intrusive and time-consuming without it being quicker to to fucking walk?

Have the Chinese really killed a British citizen - after many months of imprisonment- without Gordon "I even have an opinion on X factor" Brown saying anything until after the event?

Has the External Auditor on the Members Estimates Audit Committee gone for a walk in woods and come back dead? Really?

Is global warming still a major issue, given that the streets have been covered in ice for nearly two bloody weeks?

What else has CF missed?

18 comments:

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Nothing.

Jill said...

You missed my forerib of beef and my Gressingham goose. Both much better than turkey and clearly of vital importance.

Anonymous said...

goose? you should try baby, the other other white meat.

JuliaM said...

Not much. That pretty much covers it... ;)

Northampton Saint said...

DK's come out of hibernation and filleted Sunny like a trout

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

All bloggers were allowed to have a a member of girls aloud or the saturdays as a sex slave for a day.

You didn't miss that, did you?

Jill said...

Did I only not get Hugh Jackman as a sex slave because I comment on blogs but don't blog? No fair. I work hard at these comments.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Jill,

I think commenters were allowed to watch, but not touch...

Jill said...

That would be Australia appearing on the weird randomness of Sky Anytime? Oh, that's such a poor booby prize. No pun intended. Meh!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you saw the first half of the BBC's new adaptation of John Wyndham's "The Triffids"? One of my favourite Wyndhams, and in some respects not a bad go at a contemporary retelling. But why do they have to drag bloody global warming into it? FFS, a complete insult to the work of one of our greatest sci-fi writers. These people are absolutely bloody obsessed!

Henry Crun said...

Anon 12:13, agreed on the global warming. Apparently the triffids saved the planet, not Gordon - he will be miffed. The first hour had so many holes in the script it resembled a Swiss cheese.

But on the global warming thing, I nearly put my foot through the telly. As for Eddie Izzard's character waltzing into No10, I thought "Fucking great, another Labour twat in charge!"

von Spreuth. said...

I got banned from the Mail comments pages again.

caesars wife said...

useual labour scare , drama outputs to control the proles .

I did get a rather fetching shirt , carols was loverly , as was christmas lunch , tried to see if the ruins uk was any better and got even more angry.

but hey only 150 days max to go to essential dimblebly election justice TV night , will be replacing popcorn with , smoked salmon and and saveing up for suitable quantity of champagne.

Anonymous said...

Henry Crun: I rather liked the shot of Eddie Izzard nonchalantly strolling through the devastation, shopping in one hand and offy carry-out in the other. However, please do not expect me to believe that he survived an airliner crash by locking himself in the lavvy with a big pile of inflatable lifejackets!

microdave said...

"All bloggers were allowed to have a member of girls aloud or the saturdays as a sex slave for a day."

Now I know why I should have started my own blog....

To add to the list:

Why does the "Snow" slow my browswer down to a crawl?

microdave said...

Or browser, even....

Constantly Furious said...

The snow is gone. There. I've torn it up. You'll never see it again.

Anonymous said...

I wanted Nadine, but I got Nichola :(