Health and Safety? Crackers
As the crackers were pulled, pointless plastic fripperies flew through the air, and slips of paper fluttered to the floor.
Quick, grab the paper - there'll be a joke. What did it say on the paper?
"SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS AND WARNINGS
THESE CRACKERS CONTAIN ITEMS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
DO NOT PULL SNAP OUTSIDE OF CRACKER
PLEASE RETAIN THIS INFORMATION FOR FUTURE REFERENCE"
For fucks sake.
Yup, that's a joke alright. A complete fucking Health 'n' Safety, Cowering Compliance, Insurance Driven, Think-of-the-Chiiiiiiilden joke.
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9 comments:
PLEASE RETAIN THIS INFORMATION FOR FUTURE REFERENCE"
Yes, of course. Come August you'll really wish you kept that CF when you're wondering if you should feed the little xmas cracker compass you've kept in the kitchen drawer to the visiting 3 year old.
INSIDE The cracker? Shouldn't that warning be on the outside? Can't be too careful.... :-(
My stepdaughter wanted to make Crackers to give to friends as Christmas presents. Formerly, you could order packs of the "explosive" cracker part with which to make crackers. Now you can't. Elfin Safety.
So she had to buy a packet of crackers, and dismantle them to get what she needed.
You know it makes sense...
CF, mate, I have been blathering on about Tesco and the Crackers Issue for ages.
They train their staff not to sell Christmas Crackers to infants nor to adults with infants/teens in tow " in case they supply " GUNPOWDER to minors, contrary to some fucking 18thCentury Explosives legislation.
Who the fuck do they think that said adults are going to share those crackers with over Christmas Dinner.
For Fucks Sake Tesco !
Won't be long before it becomes compulsory for retailers to have Safety goggles & Protective gloves available for sale .. alongside these highly dangerous Christmas Cracker thingies ..
Did you get a little prick from the holly on the window sill?
No .. but if next door's Cat doesn't stop crapping in my garden .. I know where I'm gonna stuff those annoying little plastic Golf tees ..
So is it possible to organise a world record "snaps" pulling attempt by mps in safest labour seats ? I would let the use safety googles and gloves so long as the number of snaps used was no leass than this years PSBR , at 1 snap = £1
have a very happy christmas CF and everyone else , despite us having to live in the stasi led EUSSR, freedom by june for definite .
I only wish I could believe that you'd be right CW ..
Unfortunately TCC looks set to dole out more of the same .. unless he has a "Damascus" like conversion between now & June ..
Merry Christmas to you, yours & all other regular posters ..
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