One prize, not cherished by its recipient, but certainly in need of delivery, should be for the Most Egregious Parliamentary Trougher
CF thought he already knew the shortlist for this award but the Daily Telegraph has just, in the dying minutes of the game, brought to his attention a new contender.
Irene Adams became a Labour MP in 1990: when her husband, MP for Paisley North, died she took over. Her daughter and son-in-law were Labour councillors, who we also paid to work in her constituency office. So, an MP, married to an MP and employing family party members. It's a safe bet Ms. Adams knew her way around the expense system, eh?
In June 2005, she got the reward that all good, compliant Labour MP's can expect, and was 'elevated' to the Lords. The new Baroness Adams of Craigielea got off to a slow start, and eventually made her maiden speech in February 2006.
Since then, she has been diligently claiming every single expense to which she knows she is 'entitled', making her the second most expensive peer in the Lords last year.
In all, she's managed to lay her greedy, clammy hands on over 200,000 pounds of our money.
But here's the rub. Ask what she has done for us while pocketing all that money. Since her well-received Maiden speech back in early 2006, what has she said in the Lords? What issues has she raised, what wrongs has she righted? What, in short, has she said?
Nothing. Fuck all. That's right: zip. Nada. Rien. Not a peep from her.
Baroness Adams has not made a single speech, not said a single word, in the House of Lords since February 2006.
For fuck's sake. Two hundred fucking grand of our money, and she's yet to turn in a single piece of homework.
Is she shy, for fucks sake? Unlikely - she was an MP for 15 years. No, like all troughers, she's all about the rewards, and fuck the effort.
Jacqui 'Jackboots' Smith was (and still is) a greedy, dishonest, througher, and quite happy to lie about where she lived to get her trotters on more cash, but at least she turned up for work from time to time.
She might have said the most fuckwitted things imaginable, and been the worst Home Secretary ever, but at least the stupid woman tried to do her fucking job, woefully incompetent though she was at it.
But not even this from Baroness Adams.
While she doesn't seem willing or able to speak in the House, surely she'll have a detailed account of her activities to share with us, a rebuttal of these claims? Let's her speak, to prove she still can, eh? What have you got to say for yourself, Baroness?
Well, when the Telegraph tried to speak to her yesterday, she apparently declined to answer questions. She did howeverm make a speech. It was just a very short one. Here it is, in its entirety:
“I’m not interested.”
What the fuck? The fucking arrogance dripping from those three words. How dare you dismiss us loftily with a three word speech?
You're not interested? Well we sure as fuck are, Madam Baroness
We want our fucking money back.