WE bought the winning ticket

While CF doesn't begrudge anyone a bit of good old fashioned luck, there was a surge of rage when he read the story of the couple from Largs in Ayrshire, named as the winners of the £161m Euromillions jackpot. Lucky, lucky guys, eh?

So, what were they doing before this unimaginable wealth?

The Weirs have both had serious health conditions in recent years and have not been able to work. Colin, 64, had previously worked as a television cameraman and Chris, 55, is a fully-trained psychiatric nurse

Not "been able" to work? OK, so the state stepped in and supported you, then? Rather too well, it would seem, judging by the amount of food you'd both seem to have consumed in recent years.

And tell us how it was when you won, would you?

"I started circling the numbers I had matched but wasn't doing very well. Then on the fifth line, all the circles seemed to join up."

What? Wait. The fifth line? The fucking fifth? Each entry into the Euro lottery costs 2 quid, right? So you lucky, lucky people spent at least ten quid on the lottery. While you were both on benefits.

Did you do that every week? Did you start doing it twice a week when the Euro millions started on Tuesdays too? Bet you fucking did.

Exactly how much of your benefits, which came out of our taxes, did you spend on the fucking lottery, eh? And did you ever feel guilty while you were doing so?

And what will you do now? Will you start to 'give back', in grateful recognition of what the state did for you?

"We have both always wanted to see the Great Wall of China and Colin would love to stand at the foot of Ayres Rock in Australia," said Chris.

Yeah? Well so would a fuck of a lot of people, only they can't, because they have to pay a fuck of a lot of tax, apparently so that the state can give it to fat people, to spend on lottery tickets.

For fucks sake.



Anonymous said...

Wow, calm down! You're obviously bitterly jealous of their good fortune. Good luck to 'em.

Anonymous said...

Good shout. I bought ONE ticket because its all I could afford. Then again I'm nearly broke because of bills and taxes supporting lard arses.

Anonymous said...

People on benefits should be precluded from spending them on lottery tickets.

People who have jobs are too busy paying their mortgages or rent to frivolously shell out on poor tax. Where the fuck is my expendable income going? Paying for these soapdodgers.

The good thing is that their family will fuck off out of Britain. Who'd stay in a shithole full of scroungers?

JuliaM said...

I did find myself hoping they'd made that big display cheque out of sugar paper.

Because I felt sure that if they had, one of them would have been unable to resist taking a big chomp out of it right on camera....

Ed P said...

Why the sour grapes? If people on benefit choose to spend their limited cash on lottery tickets, it's their business alone. Surely freedom for individuals to make choices is a Libertarian tenet - the fact that they have been lucky should not affect that (even though millions of others have been unlucky).

Anonymous said...

If benefits are available why wouldn't you claim them? Although .. if they are able to travel, surely they are not totally unable to work. And they have paid in to the system in the past.

X said...

You want to live up to your nom de plume then have a go at this:

Your tax money

and this:

EU loves your tax money

Leave out going off on one over two people who paid into the ponzi scheme for many years and at a higher level than the anonymong bog-cleaners on here.

Constantly Furious? Consistent Fanny more like.

Anonymous said...

Ed P
their limited cash
It's meant to keep them alive, maybe give them some modest savings for a holiday or gifts for family.

I'm on £75K and I'm on limited cash. I don't have enough to gamble, but they do?

Listen, Ed, if you want to give scratchcards to people on the Nash, I'm not stopping you.

If you were generous and gave them £10 a week and asked them to scratchcard 5 and save 5, can you guess what would happen?

It's people like you who gave rise to this despondent, demotivated, oh-so-deprived underclass. Thing is, it's people like I who are paying for it.

Tom Paine said...

Chill, CF. This is the only way these people would ever have come off benefits. We bought the ticket, but we are the winners too.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, Tom, this just fuels the fire.

If we can tax a banker 50% of his bonus, can't we tax people like this similarly?

Budvar said...

So the guy's not working, like a lot of other people I might add, but he's 64 FFS!

So people on benefits shouldn't be allowed to buy lottery tickets eh? If it wasn't for the poor, the lottery wouldn't be worth doing (not that I think it is for the majority).

How about those on benefits are assigned to the workhouse and fed only gruel? It's not like they pay about 9% to pay for the privilege of drawing benefits or anything.

All the "I'm sick of my taxes etc" bollox is nothing short of the green eyed monsters. Don't worry though, the tax take on his winnings will be at least iro about £3,220,000 a year even if he sticks it in the building society drawing 5%.

Anonymous said...

Ex television cameraman?

Those fuckers don't work for peanuts...


JuliaM said...

"This is the only way these people would ever have come off benefits."

Really? Now there's a challenge I'd happily take up if someone makes me Employment Minister!

Jim said...

@Budvar: you'd be lucky to get much over 3% on deposits at the moment, but your point stands. With a bit of luck the taxpayer might get a chunk of inheritance tax at some point too. They don't look too healthy.......

Martin S said...

Had I bought a ticket, and lost, I might give a fuck. My colleagues begged me to join in. I declined. And am now several pounds better off.

Jill said...

Oh CF, get a grip. Are you suggesting food stamps, energy stamps, clothes from Matalan only stamps? People on benefits can spend their benefit money how they like. And anyway, they are taxpayers. 12% of the ticket price is tax. It's the only gambling tax left. Why? Mostly poor people do it.

Dr Evil said...

They may have had savings

ArtCo said...

They had an income from a few properties they owned in Largs apparently.

TomTom said...

I stopped doing the UK Lottery because since it started it seemed you had to have convictions for car theft to win, or else have a serious drink or drug problem.

EuroMillions seemed to offer fantastic odds NOT to win but lovely prizes if you did. Now you have just ruined my hopes because it looks as if statistically you have better odds if you are "leisured class" than Working Prole

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