Another drink, baby?

Here we go again. Sir Liam Donaldson, a man whose job title should be Witchfinder General, but who actually calls himself the nations 'Chief Medical Officer', is giving us all the benefit of his opinions.

Apparently, we've all - yet again - been bringing our kids up all wrong. By letting them try alcohol before they're eighteen - even though it is completely legal to do so - we're launching them into a lifetime of alcoholism.

That little sip of Daddy's wine at Christmas lunch is just the gateway into a world of piss-stained trousers, missing teeth and cirrosis of the liver.

Oh yes. According to Doctor Nanny, letting children taste alcohol is "misguided", and that evidence shows that this could lead to binge drinking in later life. Nanny's mouthpiece, the BBC, has the whole story. 

The smell of bullshit heightens as Sir Liam trots out the traditional line: "The science is clear". Oh yeah? You mean some research - doubtless commissioned by you - has reported some finding that you are able to extrapolate to support your wildly fascist views?

Warming to his theme, Sir Liam described the idea of a glass of watered-down wine for a child as a "middle-class obsession".

No, you patronising twat, it's you that's obsessed. Obsessed with controlling our lives, with directing our every action, with restricting our behaviour.

But Liam is adamant. We're misguided. We don't know what we're doing. We need to be told. We need guidance.

So guidance there will be. New official guidance, that says under-15s should drink no alcohol, with under-17s drinking "only under supervision".

And with the guidance - as always - comes the brainwashing. There's to be a "major publicity campaign .. which will get under way in January 2010". Oh for fuck's sake.

So we can expect our fucking money to be squandered on a load more tedious, patronising 'adverts' to tell us how to behave, can we? Fucking great.

Jeremy Todd, chief executive of the parenting charity Parentline Plus - and what the flying fuck is a 'Parenting Charity', other than another sink for taxpayer's money to be pissed into? - joined the mindless chorus of approval.

"Parents can have a huge influence on their child's drinking choices .. Whilst parents have a greater influence on their children's drinking patterns early on, as they grow older their friends have a greater influence.

No shit, Sherlock? How many millions has it cost us for you to work that out?

You know what guys? We're not going to take the slightest notice of your latest fuckwittery. If we want to offer our kids a glass of wine, or a taste of whatever we're drinking then guess what? We fucking well will.

If you want to control us, to dictate how we behave, 'official guidance' and publicity campaigns won't do. You're going to have to pass legislation, make it illegal for us to do those things you dislike so much.

And wouldn't you just love that?

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