As we sift through the smoking wreckage of this once-great nation, wondering where our liberties have gone, we can at least take one crumb of comfort.
We're still number one at something! Mind you, everyone is, according to David MacCandless, over here. He's built this great diagram, 'International Number Ones' which shows what every nation in the in the world can proudly claim to be 'number one' at:
Botswana has the most diamonds; Peru has the most butterflies; France has more sugar beet than anyone else; no-one has as many figs as Turkey, and Burma is number one for Rubies.
Iceland has the most female graduates, South Korea has the most web users and Paraguay is number one for hydroelectricity.
And what of us? This sceptred isle? Where do we top the tables? What are we number one at? Squint carefully; what does it say?
Says it all, really.