Missed the goal. Again.

As our New Coalition Overlords (copyright The Devil) struggle to get to grips with the gigantic mess left by Wrecker Brown and his merry band of wastrels, they discover endless examples of waste and inefficiency.

And the National Audit Office, the government spending watchdog, has just sunk its teeth into another one.

The Quango 'Sport England' - aren't you irritated already? Don't you just know where this is going? - was given 660 million pounds of our money, to acheive the absolutely vital, entirely fucking essential goal of increasing the numbers of women, black and Asian people and disabled people playing sport by 3 per cent.

Yeah, that's what we all wanted; that was our shared dream wasn't it?

And did they succeed? Surely they did. After all, with 660 million to spend, surely you just offer each target a large bribe - or a couple of pies - to kick a ball about every now and then?

Nope. They failed. Of course. The NAO found that:

"although the total number of adults doing sport increased .. the proportion did not increase among the groups targeted with the money"

Oh for fuck's sake. The NAO went on to say, with admirable restraint:

"In consequence, a positive conclusion by the NAO on value for money up to 2008 was not possible."

Which an overly polite way of saying 'They fucked up completely! They wasted hundreds of millions of pounds! What tossers!'

One of the reasons for this abject failure was because Sport England completely failed to keep track of how the cash – which was given to groups like the Community Sports Coach Scheme, National Sports Foundation and Sports Aid - was spent. Oh dear God.

But, unabashed, Sport England picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and replaced the scheme with a new target to encourage one million adults to do “three 30 minute sessions of moderate intensity sport a week” by 2013. Thanks, Nanny just what we needed.

But of course, they needed more money - the last lot had mysteriously vanished. So they were given another 480 million pounds. And is this new programme working out? No. Although it's early days, so far they haven't hit their forecast targets.

So, we've got a Quango that's squandered 660 million on some deluded fuckwittery, unsuccessfully , and is merrily spending another 480 million having another go.

Well over a billion quid, totally, utterly wasted. A perfect example of how the last Government gaily pissed our money up every fucking wall in sight, and how the money was just so plentiful, so easy to get a slice of, that the lucky recipients didn't even fucking bother to track where it went.

When are we going to light the fucking bonfire of the Quangos? Sport England can be right on top.

Shut them down, for fucks sake. Shut it all down. Do it now.

.

10 comments:

Bucko said...

"So, we've got a Quango that's spent 660 million on some deluded fuckwittery that they failed to aheive, and is merrily spending another 480 million having another go.
"

How many quangos are you describing there? That could probably apply to most of them.

I beleive India has a quango called "Sport India". They have been given 660 million rupees to encourage more white Englishmen to play kabbaddi.

Joe Public said...

They failed to increase the % of BEMs & disabled because of a vital flaw in their logic.

They should simply have said to all the white, able-bodied sporting people "We have £660,000,000 to distribute amongst all those of you who volunteer to give up sport, form an orderly queue."

Guaranteed success.

Uncle Marvo said...

We (the hugeCo for which I am working today), a microcosm of the infestation that was the Labour Dream, are currently in the process of wasting, on this site alone, £1.6m. This is to address a problem that doesn't exist and at the same time ignoring one which does, and which will shortly bite us on the arse.

So £660m of someone else's money is chicken feed; I can easily see how they could do this.

Any any jobs going spunking money? I have learnt a lot about it - I think I'd be quite good.

Captain Haddock said...

Bucko said...

"I beleive India has a quango called "Sport India". They have been given 660 million rupees to encourage more white Englishmen to play kabbaddi".

That must be about the only place left where a White, Heterosexual Englishman could get a grant for anything then ..

Talk about "Non-people" .. there isn't even a box for us to tick on the majority of official Forms ..

Anonymous said...

It's unbelievable isn't it ?

How was shite like this ever approved ?

John R said...

What's worse is that there's a whole tribe of these pointless sports bodies. Look at where the squandered money went..."groups like the Community Sports Coach Scheme, National Sports Foundation and Sports Aid"

All of them utterly unnecessary and useless at what they're supposed to do. I'll bet they have wall-to-wall "co-ordinators" and "outreach" and "marketing" wafflers all on good money plus a "CEO" on more than the PM.

Close them ALL down, every last one of them. It would be a helluvalot more than the £660M + £480m that would be saved.

Dioclese said...

You send a copy of this to the Conservative Central Office!

What a total bunch of total absolute cunts!!!!

JuliaM said...

I wonder if 'sport' was ever defined anywhere in its brief? Because if not... ;)

Anonymous said...

They would have had more sucess just by bribing say 100 people with a million quid each to play some sports. At least they would have got a better result.

banned said...

"Yeah, that's what we all wanted; that was our shared dream wasn't it?"

Fucking priceless prose CF