Where was Maccavity?

The House was crammed for the Queen's speech today. MP's of every affiliation poured in, some sitting on unfamiliar benches, some sitting on the green leather for the very first time.

But, as Subrosa points out, there was one noticeable absentee: the Dishonourable Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, better known as former Prime Minister Gordon McBroon.

Now, if there was one thing Gordon Maccavity Broon was famous for, it was vanishing when the going got tough.

Where's the Chancellor? Dunno. Anyone seen the PM recently? Nope.

So it's hardly astonishing that Gordon felt a little trepidation about taking a seat in the midst of a party that hates him, opposite a man he hates.

And it is with mixed emotions that CF surveys the situation.

On the one hand: aren't we all glad to see the back of the mendacious one-eyed imbecile? Isn't it just absolutely lovely not to see his slack grey face gurning across the Commons? Wouldn't it be just super if we never clapped eyes on the devious git ever again?

But, but, but, on the other hand: hang on a fucking minute. He's still an MP isn't he? The people of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath - for reasons that we'll never, ever understand - not only re-elected him but actually increased his majority.

So, we're still paying him, he still works for us, and he has a fucking duty to turn up for work, not matter how 'awkward' , how beneath him or how un-lovable he might find it.

Should we dock his pay? Should we give him a written warning?

Or should the bastard be fired?


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10 comments:

The Filthy Engineer said...

I prefer hanging.

Captain Haddock said...

I agree Engineer .. but with piano wire ..

The gutless bastard has a yellow streak down his back as wide as the M25 ..

"Oh, I don't think I'll go into work today .. I feel "uncomfortable" about it" ..

CUNT !!!!!!!

Joe Public said...

"Or should the bastard be fired?"

Yes.

From a Howitzer.

Barking Spider said...

A good, humiliating, public dressing-down where he was forced to keep his lying mouth shut and listen to the charges being levelled at him..... whipped through the streets naked with a big yellow streak painted on his back..... then hang him..... with piano wire..... draw and quarter him..... and fire that lot out of a Howitzer.

A suitable punishment for a complete and utter cunt, methinks!

Gordon Is a Moron said...

What has the poor howitzer done to deserve that

banned said...

Who said that Gordon has no soul? He knows a thorough humiliation when he ses it, no wonder he bottled it.
Anyway, serves the Kirkaldy cunts right if they have no effetive representation for a few months.

Jill said...

You're like a spurned lover that turned into a creepy stalker. Let it go, dear.

John East said...

It's appropriate that this venal, incompetent, duplicious bastard will occupy a unique position for those of us on the right, a figure forever hated, and an unforgettable example of socialism at it's worst.

We must strive to hate Brown even more than the left hate Thatcher because it is clear that whilst she left a functioning democracy on her departure, Brown left a bankrupt proto-police state.

I look forward to history's damning verdict on his disastrous career, and to dancing on his grave in the not too distant future.

Antisthenes said...

I agree with CF.

Captain Haddock said...

I'd far sooner piss on his grave ..

In fact it would be worth paying the exorbitant Rail fare to Jocklandia just to do so ...