Labour's over - now get back to work

The last Labour government were often accused of building a gigantic welfare state, creating vast armies of dependents, but until they were hounded from office, and someone else could go through the books, we didn't know to what extent.

Well, we do now, and guess what? It's to a fucking huge extent.

According to a report from the Department for Work and Pensions, over 50,000 households were allowed to claim benefits worth over £26,000 a year. The average Briton is paid £25,500 annually. For fuck's sake.

Of course, to screw all that cash out of the state, two adults in a family would have to claim incapacity benefits, council tax benefit and housing benefit. But, hey, why wouldn't they? It's all there, a lovely big pot of money to delve into. Help yourselves! Just don't try to lift to many bundles of notes at once, you might make that bad back worse.

They'd also have to have three or more children, and claim child benefit and tax credits. But again, why the fuck not? Why not have 3,4, 5, fuck it, 10 children, if the state is going to automatically provide additional teats for them suckle on?

Don't you remember this woman? The one who had 11 - yes, eleven - kids, by five different blokes over 25 years, and for virtually all of that time lived on benefits? The one who costs us 39 grand a year? The one who considers us spending 80 quid a month on mobile phones and 55 quid a month on Sky is merely providing her with "essentials". Remember her?

Well, we know now that there are tens of thousands out there exactly like her. Dear God.

The bad news rolls on and on: the report also disclosed the amount of public money spent on housing benefit rose by nearly 40 per cent in 2009/10, to £14.2billion. Sweet Jesus, 14.2 billion pounds, just to provide these 'not-workers' with somewhere to sit and watch Sky Sports on their plasmas.

And there's more: for a couple of years, all new claimants for incapacity benefit have been given medicals to see if they able to go to work. Guess what? Nine out of 10 new - also known as 'nearly all' - applicants were either fit for work or could be "moved towards rejoining the workforce".

These same tests have not yet been carried out on the existing 2.6 million incapacity benefits claimants. So there's probably well over 2 million people who need to stop pretending to have a bad back (Monday to Friday only -football at the weekend), and get their arses back to work.

Fucking hell, Coalition, you've got a job to do here.

Better get on with it...

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