Missed the goal. Again.

As our New Coalition Overlords (copyright The Devil) struggle to get to grips with the gigantic mess left by Wrecker Brown and his merry band of wastrels, they discover endless examples of waste and inefficiency.

And the National Audit Office, the government spending watchdog, has just sunk its teeth into another one.

The Quango 'Sport England' - aren't you irritated already? Don't you just know where this is going? - was given 660 million pounds of our money, to acheive the absolutely vital, entirely fucking essential goal of increasing the numbers of women, black and Asian people and disabled people playing sport by 3 per cent.

Yeah, that's what we all wanted; that was our shared dream wasn't it?

And did they succeed? Surely they did. After all, with 660 million to spend, surely you just offer each target a large bribe - or a couple of pies - to kick a ball about every now and then?

Nope. They failed. Of course. The NAO found that:

"although the total number of adults doing sport increased .. the proportion did not increase among the groups targeted with the money"

Oh for fuck's sake. The NAO went on to say, with admirable restraint:

"In consequence, a positive conclusion by the NAO on value for money up to 2008 was not possible."

Which an overly polite way of saying 'They fucked up completely! They wasted hundreds of millions of pounds! What tossers!'

One of the reasons for this abject failure was because Sport England completely failed to keep track of how the cash – which was given to groups like the Community Sports Coach Scheme, National Sports Foundation and Sports Aid - was spent. Oh dear God.

But, unabashed, Sport England picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and replaced the scheme with a new target to encourage one million adults to do “three 30 minute sessions of moderate intensity sport a week” by 2013. Thanks, Nanny just what we needed.

But of course, they needed more money - the last lot had mysteriously vanished. So they were given another 480 million pounds. And is this new programme working out? No. Although it's early days, so far they haven't hit their forecast targets.

So, we've got a Quango that's squandered 660 million on some deluded fuckwittery, unsuccessfully , and is merrily spending another 480 million having another go.

Well over a billion quid, totally, utterly wasted. A perfect example of how the last Government gaily pissed our money up every fucking wall in sight, and how the money was just so plentiful, so easy to get a slice of, that the lucky recipients didn't even fucking bother to track where it went.

When are we going to light the fucking bonfire of the Quangos? Sport England can be right on top.

Shut them down, for fucks sake. Shut it all down. Do it now.

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