Where was Maccavity?

The House was crammed for the Queen's speech today. MP's of every affiliation poured in, some sitting on unfamiliar benches, some sitting on the green leather for the very first time.

But, as Subrosa points out, there was one noticeable absentee: the Dishonourable Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, better known as former Prime Minister Gordon McBroon.

Now, if there was one thing Gordon Maccavity Broon was famous for, it was vanishing when the going got tough.

Where's the Chancellor? Dunno. Anyone seen the PM recently? Nope.

So it's hardly astonishing that Gordon felt a little trepidation about taking a seat in the midst of a party that hates him, opposite a man he hates.

And it is with mixed emotions that CF surveys the situation.

On the one hand: aren't we all glad to see the back of the mendacious one-eyed imbecile? Isn't it just absolutely lovely not to see his slack grey face gurning across the Commons? Wouldn't it be just super if we never clapped eyes on the devious git ever again?

But, but, but, on the other hand: hang on a fucking minute. He's still an MP isn't he? The people of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath - for reasons that we'll never, ever understand - not only re-elected him but actually increased his majority.

So, we're still paying him, he still works for us, and he has a fucking duty to turn up for work, not matter how 'awkward' , how beneath him or how un-lovable he might find it.

Should we dock his pay? Should we give him a written warning?

Or should the bastard be fired?


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