Clegg and Mills to kick some ass

Good news for the Lib Dems, whose campaign, based entirely on the line 'we're not Labour. Or the Conservatives', seems to be floundering a little already.

Their spirits will be raised by today's revelation that celebrity ice-dancer, Beatle-botherer and odd-sock collector Heather Mills is backing them. Yay Lib Dems!

Presumably, the boy Clegg completely misheard when his advisers tried to explain to him exactly what his chances were in the upcoming General Election, and decided to draft in a one-legged woman to the arse-kicking contest.

Wonder how he persuaded her? Do you think he went down on one knee?

And why Heather? She's clearly unbalanced. Although a couple of beer mats under her left leg would sort that out.

Feel free to add your own cruel jokes in the comments. You know you can't resist...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

They do need a bit of a leg up to be fair.....

John R said...

"Wonder how he persuaded her? Do you think he went down on one knee?"

No idea, I'm stumped.

Anonymous said...

Maybe she fancies Nick Clegg, I've heard she will do anything to get her log over !

Catosays said...

Jokes like these really are a bit limp!

Chuckles said...

Leans a bit to the left then?

Captain Haddock said...

Has Cleggy taken leave of what little sense he ever had ?

"Stumpy" Mills is (rather like McSnot) the kiss of death for everything she comes into contact with ..

Captain Haddock said...

Heather Mills was voted off "Dancing with the Stars" .. reports say she was hopping mad...

Uncle Marvo said...

McCartney bought her a plane. Clegg probably bought her a ladyshave for the other leg.

Dis said...

a quickee by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

cartermagna said...

You're being extremely harsh on Heather Mills. Extremely harsh. I mean, she isn't a complete bitch...