Complete Pollshit

What an exciting thing a General Election is! CF has had an election for weeks now.

One of the less exciting aspects is the endless fucking polling. We've suffered from having excessive poll results stuffed down our throats, morning noon and night.

So how valid are these polls? Let's have a little look at the polls following last night's feast of arse, the Leader's debate. What were the results? Well..

A ComRes/ITV debate poll put Mr Cameron at 35%, Mr Clegg on 33% and Mr Brown on 26%.

According to Channel 4 News, Mr Brown won with with 44%, with Mr Clegg on 42% and Mr Cameron on 13%.

YouGov/Sun had a bigger win for Mr Cameron, on 41%, with Mr Clegg on 32% and Mr Brown on 25%.

Populus for the Times called it a draw; Mr Cameron and Clegg level on 38%, with the prime minister on 25%.

ICM for the Guardian saw Mr Cameron win with 35%, Mr Brown second at 29% and Mr Clegg at 27%.

According to the famous ITV 'worm', Clegg won, Brown came next and Cameron came last.

That's right: last night, based upon scientifically run polls, Brown won, Cameron won and Clegg won. Clegg also came last, as did Brown. And Cameron. In 2nd place? All of them. And Cameron and Clegg drew.

So, how valid are the polls?

Not in the fucking slightest.


.

15 comments:

Chuckles said...

Why do I remember an old quote? -

'Insofar as they are real, they are not accurate, and insofar as they are accurate, they are not real'

And anyway, they come here, they take all the accommodation, they take all the jobs, now they're telling us how we're going to vote. It's a disgrace

Dick Puddlecote said...

Excellent stuff, CF. Well done for picking through a whopping load of psychobabble.

Dioclese said...

Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said "There are lies, damn lies and statistics"? - perhaps he should have said opinion polls.

If opinion polls were reality, Brown woud have resigned over a year ago.

nbc said...

Dioclese

In Gordon's world there is only one opinion that counts and it isn't ours.

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