Suicide in the bunker

At the end of a long, misguided and ultimately futile war, the misguided and insane Authoritarian leader Adolf Hitler eventually retreated to his bunker and took his own life.

It appears that the Labour Party intend to take a leaf out of that his book, and do exactly the same. Party suicide. End of the road.

Well, how else can you explain the fact that Labour have announced that from now on, Gordon Brown will be a "a more visible presence" in their general election.

What? What the fuck? Broon is the main reason the whole campaign's floundering in the first place, and the main reason that Labour stand no chance of victory.

He's got a personal popularity rating deeply in negative figures, sitting in the league tables just below Bernard Manning, and giving family butcher Fred West a good run for his money.

He is also completely, utterly incapable of interaction with other human beings. His manic fake grin would scare highly-trained police horses into bolting, for fuck's sake: imagine if he tried to kiss a baby?

When asked the simplest of questions he reels off enormous lists of irrelevant and largely false statistics: how's that going to go down on the doorstep when some old dear asks why her winter fuel allowance hasn't come through and has a huge list of imaginary investments in military equipment bellowed at her in a Scottish accent?

So surely, putting the man the most of the country loves to hate at the forefront of a failing campaign is a not-very-subtle way of raising the white flag, while simultaneously rummaging through the pockets for the cyanide capsules? Surely?

Or do they still think they can win this? Let's ask that most mindlessly loyal of Labourites, salad-dodging, toilet-breaking John Prescott, shall we? When asked on Radio 4 if thought Labour were currently on course to "storm ahead to a great victory", Prescott replied:

"No they're not - but you've got to fight for it.."

And if Prezza's given up, it's really is the end.

Pass the Labour Party that service revolver, would you?

.

11 comments:

Dazed And Confused said...

"Imagine if he tried to kiss a baby".

What Like This?

Living in The Real World said...

People treat politics as though it was a soap opera.

Browns' not a popular character, what plot twist will Mandelson be involved in? etc.

Blair, Brown, Mandelson & co should be tried for treason. The rest of the Labour shower should be tarred & feathered for the spineless, self-serving cowards they are.

The "general public" really don't get it, sigh.

one of Cleggs 'nutters' and proud. said...

Yes Gordons smile ( usually at inappropriate times not related to what's going on in the real world ) is very disturbing.
His people skills are suspect aswell which is why he has Sarah at his side all the time. They were discussing this yesterday on tv and showed a clip of Gordon visiting an old folks home. A lady asked Gordon to guess her age and this totally flumoxed Gordon. Anyone else would just say 'oh you look so young. I guess 55' or something similar.
No. Gordon just looked at her speechless then turned to Sarah for advice , then gave up and walked on.
Weird guy.

john miller said...

Although I loved the one where he said: "5" and held up 10 fingers, my all time favourite is: "Women, of which you are one..."

@ one of Cleggs' "nutters", I think you'll find the reason he was flummoxed by the old lady is connected with the 10 fingers episode. It's probably an apocryphal story, but I heard that Red Indians could only count "one, two, three, many". This certainly applies to Chief Sitting in Bullshit.

Chuckles said...

They have suddenly realised that there is a chance they could win, and have to try to clean up the mess they have created.

Clearly this is a desperate measure designed to forestall that.

microdave said...

Why slur Bernard Manning with Snotty's name? He may have been a rather unpleasant character, but lots of punters enjoyed his performances, which is more than can be said for Gordoom. He was quite capable of "interaction with other human beings", as anyone who heckled him found out.

He didn't single handedly fuck the country up, either...

Anonymous said...

By putting Brown at the forefront of a campaign which will almost certainly lead to defeat they are pinning all the blame on him. This will allow them to start afresh after the election defeat. At least thats what thy think. We know better of course. Its not just Brown its the whole rancid shower of them. They are toast.

Dioclese said...

Shame we can't get the bastard to join the LibDems instead. Good news for Cameron though...

Give me a gun and a royal pardon and I'll put him out of his misery

Chris said...

Conclusion I came to after watching the debate on Thurs: both Labour and the Tories are playing to lose this election, so that they're not the ones left holding the bucket of sh*t when the wheels finally come off the economy. Both parties are already scheming towards being the white knight of the 2015 election...

Cleggy? He's still playing to win, the little clot...

Chris said...

Thought that crossed my mind after the debate on Thurs: both Labour and the Tories are playing to lose this election. Labour, by pushing McDoom to front-and-centre, DING by not taking shots at the open goals Labour are leaving.

Both major parties are already planning to sit out the post-election crash and then pose as the White Knight of the 2014/5 campaign.

Cleggy? He's just desperate to get a sniff of office...

Jiks said...

Niether of the main parties want to be holding the parcel when the music stops. It's the only explanation for the utterly shambolic performances IMO.