Don't panic? No, Panic

Yet another in the seemingly endlessly series of polls brings good news for Gordon and his woeful party.  The Tory lead is now down to 2 points.

Mike Smithson over at calls it a 'remarkable comeback'. The Labour share of the vote is up to 34%. And, under the bizarre electoral system we enjoy, that means that Labour will somehow, eventually, win the election.

Yes, Labour will remain in Government. Gordon Brown will continue to be Prime Minister. Ed Balls will become Chancellor, for fucks sake. We will be governed by the Unite-puppet Labour party for 5 more years.

What. The. Fuck?

Who are you, you 34% who are going to vote Labour? What the fuck is going on in your heads?

Do you really, really want this bunch of fuckwits to continue their inept reign over us?

Would you enjoy further increases in the already fucking enormous tax burden that that has been steadily loaded onto those that actually work?

Do you want to see a continued growth in the numbers that don't actually work, and sit on their fat arses all day watching televisions that we paid for?

Do you believe that after 13 fucking years of fucking up everything they touched, this Government will somehow get a new lease of life after the election and actually start to make everything - anything - better?

Would you like to see even more taxpayer-funded demonisation and denormalisation of smokers, drinkers, eaters of food and drivers of cars?

Do you want 5 more years of McBroon lying and gurning and stammering in the House of Commons?

Would you like to see the Lord High Mandleson grow even more powerful, and end up running every single fucking government department whilst not actually being allowed to attend Parliament?

Because if you do stagger down to the polling station and put an 'x' next to the Labour candidate, you'll be getting - and giving the rest of us - all that and a whole lot fucking more.

You don't need to vote for CallMeDave and the Tories. Vote for the fucking Monster Raving Loonies; vote for Esther Rantzen; vote for the BNP;  vote LibDems if you must.

You just need to not vote for Labour, for 5 more years of Gordon.

Look, guys, we're getting a bit too close to comfort to the election for this to be funny any more.

Stop fucking around.



Thomas said...

There's no point moaning about it, people are backing Labour for obvious reasons which will help them personally. There's nothing you can do about it so let it go.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Mmm ... looks like I may not have to vote for the fat fucker after all.

The whole thing is, DING and his red Tories don't offer anything different, other than inexperience.

If you have to choose between an experienced, unprincipled cunt who is going to buttfuck your wallet or an inexperienced, unprincipled cunt who's going to buttfuck your wallet, why would you choose a lack of experience?

Dave's had years to convince us that he would offer something different. But from the outset, he chose the "heir to Blair" meme. He showed an astonishing lack of judgement and has continued to do so, time after time.

People are not voting FOR Gordon. They're voting AGAINST DING. He has brought it entirely upon himself.

We are going to be stuck with not only Gordon, but Gordon with a mandate - and IT'S ALL DING'S FAULT.

Catosays said...

And yet, the Angus Reid poll (see poll tracker at my place) has the Tories 13 points ahead.

Popolus poll has them 10 points up.

As they say....Go figure!

Uncle Marvo said...

So Darling fails to give a budget, Cameron does the best speech I've ever seen him do, and the country votes for the biggest, most obvious cunt in the history of cuntitude.

I see.

I'm going to jail.

This country desserves to rot in hell if its population can't think any better than this. Or is it because over the last years the capacity for thought has been taken away from them?

I am now going to find the first person who will tell me that they intend to vote New Fucking Labour and I'm going to punch them squarely in the face. I will put it on YouTube. No, I'm not joking.

And yes, I have the mopher, father and all the children of all hangovers, as I decided to do my annual intake of cider last night before it goes up by 30p a fucking pint.

Anonymous said...

I think that those of us who look at the trends, look at the current data, and look at our likely future are failing to take into account the massive change in society that has occurred over the last couple of generations.

Societal concepts such as honesty, accountability, and responsibility died with the passing of our old ruling class sometime in the late 1950's or early 1960's. Society today is lead by the brightest of the working and middle classes born at that time, an age of growing plenty and freedoms in the West which increasingly called for no personal sacrifice or regrets, only arrogance and consumption.

The current electorate, the second or third generation removed from reality, is lost in a vacuum. Poorly educated, lacking identity, and guided by a greedy, selfish, and hedonistic political class, it is increasingly difficult to predict their voting patterns. Add to the mix rights and entitlements, widespread ignorance of history, and an unwillingness or inability to logically analyse our current plight, then you end up with 34% who will vote for Gordon Brown.

To cap it all, it's perhaps ironic that the last great champion of the more noble and traditional values of our former culture, Thatcher, is now labelled by the left as the prime architect of our moral decline.

I'm with Thomas, above. My philosophy now is to look after my family and myself. Society cannot live in a dream world forever, but it can do so much longer than I've got left in this world. So why waste my time worrying or getting upset?

Uncle Marvo said...


Because of your children?

Anonymous said...

Good point, Uncle Marvo.

manwiddicombe said...

@Uncle Marvo I'm going to jail.

At least you'll be able to smoke indoors......

Uncle Marvo said...


I know. That's what keeps me going.

That, the three square meals a day, all the sex I can handle, and the cushy job in the library.

It's only a question of when, and for how long.

If I seem worried, then you've got the wrong man :-)

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

I think there may be more subtle things having an impact - I've blogged about them here this morning after seeing the polls.

I'm not sure if it's the biggest thing affecting the pollings but it may play a part.

Captain Haddock said...

With the Emperors of ancient Rome .. it was "Bread and Circuses" ..

With ZuNuLieBore .. its Benefits & "Reality" TV ..

Uncle Marvo said...


I commend this to you.

Jill said...

I am with Obo.

People aren't voting for Dave because even our poorly educated electorate can see there's nothing more than a fag paper between the Compassionate Conservatives and New Labour.

I'm afraid, CF, it's you that's out on a limb/in the minority, clinging to the belief that Dave will actually do anything different at all. Do you think he'll give you your civil liberties back? Cut spending by that much? Dismantle any part of the welfare state? Cut big government? Stop with the health nagging? Get you out of the EU? Turn Britain climate-sceptic?

If you do, I fear you'll be sadly disappointed.

Having said that, I think the Tories will piss the election.

skingers said...

Youguv are going to one of the casualties of this election. The weighting is floored, the methodology simplistic and assumptions about uniform national swing meaningless. Reid seem to be the only people with a plausible approach.

Anonymous said...

Good old Yougov. Another high quality poll of about about 1500 people was it?

Yougov, of course being the firm that rely on government contracts and such. It is the same one, yes?

Who could say if they actually cherry picked those they polled...

Jill said...

What poll does The Sun do? It's saying the same today.

David said...

YouGov cherry pick, of course they do. I joined the panel in a moment of madness, and can't be arsed cancelling it, but the only survey invites I get are for brands.

Set of twats they are.

But I digress. They're all cunts, so what difference does it make what flavour cunt you have? The only difference is that DING is honest about wanting to take all my money and give it to buttfuck wideboys in the City. Gordon dresses it up in terms of protecting people's jobs, even though he doesn't give a fuck, so they'll go for the aspartame-covered horsehit.

Barman said...

I agree with Jill and Obo...

I hope Gorgon wins, the stupid cunt.

HE will then have to face the disaster he has created and not sit back and blame the Tories.

HE will be seen as the one that has completely butt-fucked the country.

PLUS the Tories will melt down, kick CMD out on his stupid arse and hopefully get a new leader with some new radical policies...

Labour will be fucked forever if they win this time... When they get kicked out on their sorry arses we can have another election and maybe get somebody that actually cares what the electorate think and want...

Mind you, I moved abroad seven years ago so it matters fuck all to me really...

John Pickworth said...

"People are not voting FOR Gordon. They're voting AGAINST DING. He has brought it entirely upon himself."

What he said... mostly.

It was always going to be a big ask for a Conservative win... on paper its been possible but still only around the 50/50 mark. Over the past two years, as the Great Gordon turned out to be no better than his former boss, people assumed the Tories had it in the bag. But did they, really?

After all the trials and tribulations, the scandals and the outright thievery, Labour seem remarkably untouched. Meanwhile the Conservatives hardly appear to be trying... come on, face it, they're not are they? If they are then something is seriously wrong with them.

I believe the Tories are playing for a draw at best, a strategy of containment at worst. Placing themselves into a position where they can at last be an effective opposition against Labour's excesses. The next election after this one (which will come soon enough) is the one they 'really' want to win.

Trust me, Labour will win this one.