Life is perfect in Wales

The National Assembly for Wales, Cynulliad Cenedlaethol Cymru, was formed in 1998. When it was first created, the Assembly had limited powers but, since the passing of the Government of Wales Act 2006, the Assembly has had powers to legislate

And how magnificently they have used them; what an absolutely superb job they've done in that time. Brilliant.

Every single road in Wales is now in perfect condition. Investment in infrastructure has meant that it is possible to travel quickly and efficient by road, rail or air across the entire country.

Crime figures have fallen precipitously. No-one needs to lock their homes or their cars any more, and violent assault is just a distant memory. There is a policeman on every street corner, and on every village green, but much of their day is spent playing soccer with local kids.

Although beer and wine are cheaper than virtually any other country in the world, sensible licensing laws and intelligent community policing have meant that every pub and club is a civilised haven. Visitors from France and Italy are frequently amazed at the calm ambience and intelligent conversation to be found at any bar or cafe.

Employment is, and has been for some time, at fractionally under 100%. Only one man is rumoured to be jobless at the time of writing, and that apparently because he resigned from his job to spend more time enjoying the incredible public facilities on offer throughout the land.

A generation of Welsh children is growing up, preparing to dominate the world stage, thanks to the superb education they have received. Virtually all private schools have shut down, unable to match the excellence of the state sector's offering.

How does CF know all of this? Well, he doesn't. But it must be the case, surely?

Unless everything important, everything described above and more, had been successfully dealt with, surely the Welsh Assembly wouldn't have got together yesterday to debate, and then vote upon, whether or not the undoubtedly ecstatically happy population could use electronic training collars on cats and dogs?

That's exactly what they did, yesterday. We can only assume that absolutely everything else has been efficiently dealt with.

And unless the Assembly had achieved all of its aims, and had no more important matters left to debate, surely the two Government parties wouldn't refuse to enter the Senedd Building for a debate today, just because they'd have to cross a picket line of striking civil servants?

Because that's what they're doing today.

Yes, truly, everything in Wales must be perfect.

For fucks sake.



Captain Haddock said...

WALES .. went there once .. it was shut ..

Uncle Marvo said...

You haven't been to Wales, have you, Cariad?

I think they outlawed Josie, that's a start.

Anonymous said...

"..the calm ambience and intelligent conversation to be found at any bar or cafe."

Never been to fucking Newport, then?

Antisthenes said...

I am Welsh but now live in a country far far away. So on my infrequent trips back to the UK I have to give the land of my birth a miss because I can not afford the fee to get in. Fortunately it is free to leave otherwise I would not be able to live where I do now.

I left the land of my fathers because I knew the the Assembly and Labour remaining in government at Westminster could only make thing worse, far worse. And lo and behold they have.

Thats News said...

North Wales and Mid Wales are not too bad. The roads are getting better, it has to be said.

BUT! the problems of rural Wales and education and unemployment are still not being addressed and that is sad. So many wasted lives, so much wasted opportunity.

Jill said...

I like Wales.