No 'real' post this morning, as Mrs. CF has bullied half the village into attending the annual 'litter pick'.

So, instead of lounging in bed like the rest of the world, CF will be grubbing about in the verges, collecting filthy pieces of crap.

You know, all that stuff that you threw out of your car window in the middle of nowhere, in the fond belief that it would instantly turn into a little bunny rabbit and scurry off into the undergrowth.

Actually, it doesn't. It turns into a slimy ball of shit, with muddy rainwater in its every crease.

If you ever want to confirm your view of the great British public, try picking up its discarded Monster Munch bags and Diet Coke tins for a couple of hours.


++ UPDATE ++ Done. 20 full bin bags, from about a mile and a half of roads. You filthy fuckers. The 'National Speed Limit' sign is not actually the point at which it becomes OK to wind down your windows and chuck out your fag packets and empty Tesco-brand lager tinnies.




Jill said...

Ha. We also have a litter pick day in these 'ere parts. And because our council is so useless, it's also a weeding the pavements/kerbs day.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Don't fucking get me started on the Great British fucking public and fucking litter.


Jill said...

CF: how small is your village? What's the parish? More than one village? I'm just wondering, since you might like to look and see if you have a Parish Lengthsman. If not, you should head on down to Parish Council meetings and see if you can get one. There's funding available, it keeps some old codger doing something useful part-time - don't tell me it's a "non-job"! - and you get much more efficient litter pick days from it.

Captain Haddock said...

Power to your pickin' arm CF .. Good on yer ..

I get annoyed by the amount of crap I have to collect off my front lawn each week ..

Jock Coats said...

There was a nice one a few weeks ago where some village in Thurrock District Council had done just this, with encouragement and the picking equipment and so on from the district council. The following day the organisers got a nasty call from the council complaining that theyr had been over-zealous - that their bin lorry could not now do the rest of its day's run for having to pick up 43 bags and a sofa from this one village!

Oh, and added to my "reasons Jock would not be allowed to own a firearm even in an anarchist society" is those bloody people who scatter clug and gig fliers along the ground as they walk instead of handing them out to people who actually look as if they might be interested. I'd have to shoot them on sight.

Jock Coats said...


JobLot said...

As most of the litter around my parts are empty cans of Red Bull, I propose a short term cull of any chav caught buying the stuff.

British Shorthair said...

Not guilty, but I can see how a shotgun approach to remonstration might help your feelings. And better a day's exercise than sitting hunched over your keyboard. I sincerely appreciate both, by the way.

John Demetriou said...

"So, instead of lounging in bed like the rest of the world, CF will be grubbing about in the verges, collecting filthy pieces of crap."

Do you good, mate. You probably need to shed a few pounds. Also nice to see you doing what you were put on this planet for. Bet you never felt more at home.

Constantly Furious said...

"You probably need to shed a few pounds"

We've talked about this before, several times, haven't we, JD? Were you bullied at school for being the fat boy? It's usually the victims of that who call everyone else 'fat' as a deadly insult.

As it happens, I could probably lose a couple of pounds, but you don't know that, so your little jibes say a lot more about your mental condition than my physical condition.

Come on, you can share with us.

"..nice to see you doing what you were put on this planet for

Channeling Oscar Wilde again, eh?