Ladies go for smears

Dawn Butler is currently the Labour MP for Brent South,  while Lib Dem Sarah Teather represents Brent East.

In the supposedly-coming general election, due to boundary changes, there'll be only one seat - Brent Central. Two girls, one seat.

Naturally, both ladies are desperate to make this seat their own, and have begun scrapping already.

Dawn Butler is worried that she's tainted by the revelation that she's been a-troughing, claiming for a 'whirlpool bath', whatever the fuck that is, for her 'second' home, a home which is no further from the House of Commons than her fucking main home.

That won't play well with the voters of Brent Central, will it?

So Dawn's desperation's doubled.  In fact so desperate is Ms. Butler that she is already expanded her campaign to include to the standard Labour tactic: rather than think of some policies, smear your opponents.

There's been a buzz in blogland for some time about Sarah Teather's somewhat dodgy use of office allowances. While making a lot of noise about not claiming any second home allowance, she seems to have quietly used our money to pay for political canvassing on her office 'phone lines. And, while not having a second home, she seems to have paid her entire constituency party rent bill from her allowances.

Recently, Commissioner John Lyon received a formal complaint on these very matters from a Mr Shahid Razzaq, and began an investigation.

However, when Lyon spoke with Mr Razzaq to follow up, he denied having made the complaint. He also  pointed out that he did not actually live at the address given on the complaining letter.

Lyon then received another complaint, also supposedly from Mr Razzaq, at a different address. This second address wasn't Mr Razzaq's either. In fact, better still, this address did not actually exist at all.

A little bit of further investigation revealed that Mr Razzaq is the brother-in-law of Leanna Ait-Younnes. And who's she? Why she's someone who - wait for it - works for Dawn Butler. What a fucking surprise. Isn't that an astonishing coincidence?

In a further amazing coincidental twist, Ms Ait-Younnes own address is nearly identical to the false address given on the second complaint.

Naturally, dodgy Dawn has denied absolutely everything, bleating “I don’t know what my staff do 24 hours a day”. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ms Teather, in spite of her relief at having the investigation dropped - or at least, dropped until a real person complains - is not happy:

“The British public are sick to the back teeth of Labour ministers trying to distract from their own failings by smearing their opponents.

“Joanna Lumley and others taking on Labour ministers have all learnt that when Labour are desperate they resort to innuendo, smears and lies.

“Dawn Butler’s second home expenses were revealed by the Telegraph. Even Labour can’t spin their way out of that one.”

Oh, it's all so fucking pathetic. Such desperation for power. Smear and counter-smear.

CF hopes that somehow, both of these silly bitches lose.



Dippyness. said...

PLEASE......NOT BITCHES....Slags yes. Bitches are lovely, faithful & kind. :)

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Apropos of nothing: why do they call it a Pap smear?

Because if they called it a cunt scrape, no-one would want one.

JuliaM said...

I hearty endorse the 'Can't they both lose?' initiative!

Antisthenes said...

Dippyness, my bitch wasn't that was why I divorced her.

So incumbent MPs standing against one another, which one gets elected will all come down to who was the least corrupt, marvelous that should restore confidence in Westminster.

John Demetriou said...

What is the point of your boring site, CF? Give up now mate. You're proper dull.

Constantly Furious said...

Thanks for your feedback, J D. Your views are important to us, here at CF.

You utter, turgid, pointless waste of fucking skin.

Which one is best. I know ...FIGHT !!! said...

They should have a naked mud wrestling fight and sort it out that way.
Although saying that I'm not sure if they're fit looking. Is one of them the wee chunky dwarf with the stupid choirboy haircut and funny accent?

Captain Haddock said...

Yep .. There's nothing beats a good, old-fashioned "Bitch" fight ..

Let it rip slappers ...

JohnRS said...

"CF hopes that somehow, both of these silly bitches lose."

All it takes is two trees and some rope. Maybe the good citizens of the constituency will get so pissed off at the pair of them that they'll clean up that bit of Parliament permanently?

Joe Public said...

Just like 2-girls-1-cup, only more entertaining