Everybody hates the Cabinet

A leading figure in British politics has broken his silence, and let it be known that he has an extraordinarily low opinion of most of the current Cabinet.

This critic has dismissed Foreign Secretary David Miliband as ‘lightweight’. Hard to disagree with that, really. If you're going to abuse your position as Foreign Secretary to smear the Opposition, you need to be a heavyweight attack dog, not some grinning ponce who is swept aside with one flick of William Hague's cuff.

The same person goes on to attack Home Secretary Alan Johnson as ‘lacklustre’. And how right that is. What has the fucker actually done? What has he ever said that we remember? Apart from acting as Gordon's henchman to fire some scientist who went 'off message', he really is conspicuous by his total fucking absence. Leader in waiting? Bollocks. Seat nearest the door, more like.

The brutal attacker of the Cabinet then moves on, accusing Schools Secretary Ed Balls, of being ‘too aggressive’. And so he is. He's a bully as well as a blinking twat. This is the man who completely ignored a Select Committee's recommendations, and apointed the person he wanted into a key role.

The same man who plans to pass legislation making fibbing whilst trying to get your child into a local school a criminal offence. Aggressive? Fucking mental, more like.

And just to round off, this reputation assassin declares Labour DEputy Leader Harriet 'Hattie' Harman as ‘a disaster’. Now that really is bang on the fucking money. That shrill, pointless fucking woman has done tremdendous damage to the country, as well as to her party, and to women's rights, and to any-fucking-thing else she's laid her ghastly talons on.

So, just who is this astute political commentator? Who has so cruelly but accurately highlighted the fundamental flaws of the people who are supposed to be running this country?

Is David 'CallMeDave' Cameron, trying to persuade us that the Tories would be better? No.

Is it perhaps Dan 'the Man' Hannann, never afraid to criticise when he sees fault? Nope.

Is it some mysterious Right-wing spin doctor, trying to emulate the evil Damian McBride? Nuh-uh.

So, who - who? - could have publically expressed such a low-but-accurate opinion of these people, cretins that they are?

Gordon fucking Brown, that's who.

We are reliabily informed that Gordon, probably the politician held in the most contempt by all and sundry for a hundred years, is only clinging on to his position as PM because he firmly believes that only he could do the job. What? Yep.

He would, apparently, quite happily step aside, if he only felt that there was someone, anyone, who could step up to the plate and do a better job than him.

Deluded? The man is batshit fucking crazy.

++UPDATE++ : a commenter asks if CF is 'making this up'. Well, no. Unbe-fucking-leivable though it is, the story appeared in the Daily Mail.  Of course, they may have made it up...


marksany said...

As someone whose kid missed out on a place in a good school to people who fabricated addresses; hanging's too good for them. If you have rules but there is no sanction for those found cheating them, what is the point of the rules, they only penalise the law- abiding, like my son.

bnzss said...

So be angry with the law, not the parents who went out of their way to get the best for their child.

Jill said...

Perhaps it's a tad inappropriate, but I just can't stop laughing!

Anonymous said...

You had me going there. I felt sure you must have been talking about that embittered failed politician Charles Clark, and certainly not sociopath Brown, who I am surprised could ever judge his colleagues personalities so accurately.

I suppose this just goes to show that even a total looney like Brown occasionally gets some things right.

Leg-iron said...

He's right though. Labour have nobody worth keeping and the rest of them are even worse than him.

The Gorgon is bad enough, but imagine if Hideous Harman had the job? Or Blinky?

Nah, leave him there. He might earn the distinction of losing his seat while being Prime Monster. Ideally to some SNP non-entity or even better yet, the Monster Raving Loonies. That would be worth staying up for on election night.

banned said...

Are you making this up CF ? I can see the logic behind it of course. slagging off the potential competition to bug yourself up but surely even loopy mad-dog Gordon isn't that politically inept.

L_I, yes, that would be fun but the Beeb is moving away from live coverage because somehow it is " unfair ". Makes it easier to rig the result more like,

Jill said...

Leg-iron is right: this Cabinet appears to have less ability/drive/intelligence/charisma than your average PTA committee. Having said that - who do the Tories have to offer? I can't see any real dynamism from any of the three main parties.

Snowolf said...

I'm with Leg-Iron, too.

It's not often you can say it, but Brown is quite right, the rest of them are even bloody worse, as far fetched as that would seem.

Is there any more we need to know about this party? They're history and I think I'm going to find watching their demise at the election, and the subsequent cluster fucking in opposition almost indecently entertaining.

JuliaM said...

"Is there any more we need to know about this party? They're history and I think I'm going to find watching their demise at the election, and the subsequent cluster fucking in opposition almost indecently entertaining."

Me too.

Right up until Call-Me-Dave's mob merrily takes up right where they left off...