Back in town, baby.

CF is, you'll be delighted learn, safely returned.

A few days in Italy, slithering around in the snow, desperately trying to keep up with the CF-ettes' terrifyingly fast skiing, have had a marvellously relaxing effect. That and the endless Vino Caldo.

CF almost - almost - became calm. Until the total, utter, fucking ordeal that is any Rynair flight began.

Travelling by Ryanair is a hideous event at the best of times, but travelling Ryanair out of Italy, where queueing is completely unheard of, and small Italian children are considered to be minor deities, whose every fucking whim must be indulged instantly, is on another plane (geddit?) altogether.

Oh, the bovine, slack-jawed public. Oh, the gum-chewing, utterly disinterested, airport staff. The pushing, the shoving, the shouting locals, the angry British chavs. Oh, the blinding rage.

But enough. 

So, what happened here last week ?



Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

I flew Ryanair once. And only once.

The 100m hurdle race into the seats is just a spectacle into the depths of animalistic and self-centred behaviour that uneducated people stoop to.

I saw families run under the body of the plane and engine being chased by marshals just to get the best seats. The stampede simply exemplifies the way society has become so selfish these days.

It's a pathetic example by the cheap and greedy, which is why I never fly those types of airlines again.

It's times like this where I wish aviation harked back to the halcyon days of adventure and elitism.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

And welcome back btw! :)

Furor Teutonicus said...

Is it true that Ryanair are the only air line outside of India, where the crew are issued with cattle prods?

microdave said...

Look on the bright side! - at least you landed at your intended destination. These poor f***ers didn't.....

Corrugated Soundbite said...

I (attempted to) fly Ryanair out of Brno once. An engine failed about 15 minutes before take-off (fair enough, can't be helped) but after being stood around for four hours waiting for the promised replacement, which they kept assuring us was coming, they dropped the bombshell at half ten at night that there was NO replacement plane. Not then, the day after or ever. They advised us to "try to squeeze on" to scheduled planes leaving Brno in the subsequent days. And only once a day at that. Then they booted us out the bloody airport (it's tiny, and shuts down at night)!

After nearly freezing to death all night through all the hotels and B&Bs being fully booked, I got a very slow train to Prague. Got ripped off again flying EasyJet from there and then had to wait months for my pittance of a compensayshun claim to come through.

Still, welcome back CF ;-)

banned said...

I've never flown Ryanair but had some interesting travel experiences in Italy including turning up at a small railway station in time for my train to be told,"Train it has gone, he was ready, so he went..." WTF?

JuliaM said...

Never flown Ryanair, but did (once, never again) go by Easyjet...

Jill said...

I get to Italy via EasyJet also. Actually, last year I got there by train, which was spiffing.

We won a snowy gold medal. Inflation went up, much to Guido we'll-be-carrying-our-cash-in-wheelbarrows-soon Fawkes's excitement. Um... I continued to argue with my son's headmaster about the appropriate minimum standard for disciplinary letters (ie spell the child's name right), about the appropriate content of disciplinary letters (ie petty authoritarianism gone wild as per, with immediate threats of suspension sent off to children who have never done anything wrong before), about the appropriate wording for disciplinary letters (ie if you don't think children should copy and paste their homework, you make yourself look a bit of a cunt if you copy and paste all your own communications), and, above all, on the appropriate person to whom to send disciplinary letters (ie send them to the child who did something wrong, not some random child with a similar first name). As you can see, I am somewhat irritated about this.

Welcome back!