Silly BerCow? She doth protest too much

Poor, poor Sally Bercow. She didn't choose to bemarried to an enormously ambitious career politician. She didn't choose to live in sumptuous, taxpayer-funded luxury in the middle of London.

And now she's suffering for it. Yes, poor little Sally is sad, because someone has 'Twittered' something about her.

Yes, the excellent @eyespymp Twitter character, which provides regular updates on the trivial movements and behaviour of those in the Westminster village, has mentioned her a couple of times. And she doesn't like it:

"I am not an MP. I just live here. So stop reporting my movements."

Oh, pass that onion. We're fillin' up.

No, Sally, you're not an MP. But you've already announced that you'd like to be. In spite of your early days as a Conservative supporter, you've decided to stand as a Labour MP, haven't you?

And as a prospective MP, you love any publicity, don't you?

After all, this is the Sally Bercow who was all over the press a few weeks ago with tales of her binge drinking. Not rumbled by an undercover reporter - oh no - she gave a full and frank interview, where we got to hear all about it.

How she drank at lunch time, carried on drinking in the evening, and often ended the night out flat on her back staring at the ceiling of whoever bought her last drink. Lovely.

Where was your reticence then, eh? Why weren't we protected by your modesty from all that crap?

And, so shy is poor Sally, that virtually every one of these pieces was illustrated by a 'photo of her, simpering like the late Diana, in a tiny mini-skirt, legs to the fore. We've seen more upskirt action from Ms. Bercow than from a dodgy Japanese porn-site.

And as for 'stop reporting my movements', well, pardon our gasps at your hypocrisy. This is the same Sally Bercow who has set up a Twitter account for herself, to join Kerry and Ellie, boasting that her location is 'Under Big Ben' (just like the old day's, eh Sally? Did Ben send over a bottle of Chardonnay?)

So far Sally has Tweeted over two hundred times. She has nearly 1,500 followers, and recently shared with them such gems as:

"Now going to Starbucks 2 cheer myself up with chocolate cake"


"Lunchtime. The kids will only eat food they've seen advertised on TV"


"..I drive a Volvo."


"I am going out now. To do school run."

There are plenty, plenty more. All from the woman who really doesn't want her movements reported.

'Now going to Starbucks'. Where did you think those Tweets were going, Sally?

When @eyespymp pointed out that all this was .. err .. tough shit, she snapped back, but in her anger, her true agenda leaked through:

"You are not being v. nice. You are clearly a bunch of Tories."

For fuck's sake. Even when whining self-piteously, even with only 140 characters to play with, she can't resist a little 'on message' dig at the eeevil Tories. 'You're nasty, you must be a Tory'. Top quality debate, Sal'.
What a mixture. Relentless self-promotion, cynically on-message,  a large helping of hypocrisy?

Oh, you're going to make a great Labour MP.

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Middle Seaxe said...

I note she wishes to become a New Labour MP. It's not as if they like prying into everybody's lives now, is it?

Oh, when will we be delivered from these bastards?

Angry Exile said...

... you must be a Tory.

Like her husband? Fuck one to know one? Stupid bitch.

JuliaM said...

Oh, god, I can't take much more of these women! What happened to the feminist movement? Where did it all go wrong?

Captain Haddock said...

I still reckon it looks like a badly dressed Tranny ..

Anonymous said...

"I am going out now. To do school run. I am not an MP. I just live here. So stop reporting my movements. Thank you. :) " whines Sally MooCow.

Oh, the irony - her first 2 sentences are reporting her movements, followed by whingeing that others are doing exactly the same !!

JuliaM said...

"Oh, the irony - her first 2 sentences are reporting her movements, followed by whingeing that others are doing exactly the same !!"

I know. She'd be so perfect for NuLabour.

Less 'hoist on their own petard', than 'hoist by their own retard'...

Jill said...

What do you know about Japanese porn? And how do you know it?

Jon Lishman said...

Nice legs.

Anonymous said...

The attention seeking bitch doesnt like it when we see her for what she is, a self seeking little opportunist with the intellect of a gnat.

Captain Haddock said...

The fact that she actually aspires to being an MP tells one all one need to know about her ..

Anonymous said...

Brilliant piece that, now i need to calm down after my rage at the daft bint.

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